I will preface this by saying: this is nothing to do with the YanKKKoid election.
Anyway, I don't know...I'm just so tired all the time, I feel like I've been defeated by this shitty system.
I did everything our elders told us to do (got two good degrees, learned several skills outside of it etc), and after a while of being humiliated, degraded and talked down at by people at the local unemployment office, then finding a way to get money again...I just can't anymore. Things that used to make me feel happy don't anymore, I've all but stopped even trying to have a social or love life after like 2 years of having barely any money (I've probably been without a love life for at least 5-6 idk anymore 
).
And despite what the chuds say, it doesn't even feel fulfilling to work, knowing that unemployment is right around the corner at any moment for whatever reason. It's also compounded by everything just getting more expensive, and all of my family always putting me down for making bad choices etc 
idk how anyone finds the energy to do all the proper "life" stuff anymore, it's all so exhausting.
Am I making any sense at all? 
Yes. I've got nothing and I'm resigned to the fact I'll never have anything. After years of cancer treatment that caused me to have a stroke, which has left me partially sighted and unable to walk properly, I was no longer able to work or study, and now spend my life going through endless disability benefit claims and appeals (because they reassess me stupidly frequently), scavenging for food and on the brink of homelessness while going through these appeals. Due to my illness I lost any chance of a normal life, no career, no family. I consider myself ace but I could still have had a family of my own. Now due to my health it's too late. I can barely look after myself anyway. My friends all drifted away as my illness wore on and I was no longer able to go out much, so I have absolutely no social life whatsoever. Due to lack of funds I can't even do simple things like rent films I want to see on amazon. I've accepted that my life is pointless, meaningless and miserable. But why does the government have to make it worse with these endless benefit assessments? The constant poverty is the one thing I can't accept. I'm just eaten up with anxiety about it all the time.
The only way I get through life is living in a fantasy world most of the time. I've built up this elaborate fantasy life in my head where I'm healthy and happy, surrounded by friends and having a great time with no financial worries. In these daydreams I go surfing and skydiving, have the best mates ever and am full of joy and life, everything is always sunny and I'm always young. The only way I can cope with reality is by imagining it away.Oscillating between doomerism and a raging ball of anger is the natural state of a marxist stuck within this system.
Take some time and re-center yourself. It's ok to feel down, but we must continually pick ourselves back up.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ehf9udAhng
I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:
me, i think this is more common than we might be aware of.
just that feeling that we have no future, and all of that wasted time we spend at work being micromanaged in every way they can will bear no fruit for us at all. plus being alienated and lonely, like we are just work machines.
i want to know what the fuck yall doing to cope.
Late stage capitalism is kicking hard. Really feels like the small sliver of freedom one could live, inbetween total precariousness and poverty and the total hell of suburban conformity has been eroded into nothing.
Really feels like the small sliver of freedom one could live, inbetween total precariousness and poverty and the total hell of suburban conformity has been eroded into nothing.
And people still have this idea that it exists still, if only you Hustle™ enough.
So many people feel the same as you. "Bad choices" be damned. You didn't break the economy, you didn't do anything wrong. Anyone who puts you down for not being the perfect ubermench can kiss my ass
...and should be cut off. you aint forced to appease shitty people just because they happen to be related to you.
"You must realize that I am far from feeling beaten…it seems to me that… a man out to be deeply convinced that the source of his own moral force is in himself — his very energy and will, the iron coherence of ends and means — that he never falls into those vulgar, banal moods, pessimism and optimism. My own state of mind synthesises these two feelings and transcends them: my mind is pessimistic, but my will is optimistic. Whatever the situation, I imagine the worst that could happen in order to summon up all my reserves and will power to overcome every obstacle."
Never surrender comrade. You are not a failure for not succeeding in a competition that was rigged before you were born. Failing to fit into a system made to exploit and oppress is not a surprise or a mark against you, the opposite really. Gather with others, make community, burdens shared are burdens lightened. If we are to survive in this world, we will have to survive together.
I produce enough spite and class hatred to keep chugging along anyway.
This is naturally how late stage capitalism is supposed to make you feel. Remember that no matter what anyone has told you, none of this is due to personal failure, just systemic failure (or systemic success from the bourgeouisie perspective).
If you have 6 days that are impossible and 1 day where you can find just one good thing, however small, that fulfills you, then not all is lost. You cant do it all and you arent expected to do it all, just do what you can do for yourself. Dont spend time worrying about what you arent doing or fretting that you dont have the energy. If all you can do is go to work and lay in bed after, thats fine.
I hope things improve for you soon and remember you always have a legion of internet tankies behind you
