I'm sorry for my behavior and actions everyone. I know nothing can excuse them.
I am willing to offer explanation of my intense emotional state during the struggle session if people want but I know with the people I've hurt that that may not be wanted
I am not here to re-litigate the whole arguments around it and having seen users state experiences on the "other side" of the whole struggle session I very much relate to, I do not feel any desire to defend any of my previous positions or statements in any way and I feel that my desires and goals would not be met with what I was arguing for
I am concerned that my very problematic behavior and actions were partially what caused the argument to get to such a fever pitch in the first place.
Self crit statements (cw mentions of transphobic/bioessentialist related things)
- It was not acceptable in any way for me to defend the "cis het white man" statements the moderators made. My decision to double down on the defense when trans comrades voiced their discomfort was especially egregious. I apologize to those I've hurt and I will proceed with more sensitivity to my comrades
- My participation in the argument itself was not justifiable. I do believe I mistakenly thought I had something to gain from a "dunk-tankless" site but I do not believe what I was arguing for was in my interest in the first place anymore.
For those who are confused, I believe my temp ban was mistakenly lifted when a lot of the bans during the argument were undone. I understand if moderators want to re-ban me but I appreciate the chance to post this
Carcosa actually lifted all bans (minus debatebrox accounts) that were banned during the struggle session. Not likely a mistake.
Thank you for doing this. The whole sesh was heated, people on both sides did things they regret. What matters is that we move forward having properly self-crit so that the site can become a better place for everyone.
Our new bureaucracy requires any admin decision to have paperwork completed in triplicate at each step of the process,
and 
approval with no discrepancies between either side.It will take us decades to implements weeks worth of changes
.
