Like…I have some things I have vague interest in, I guess.
But not anything I have ever put time into, or am good at, or am knowledgeable enough to hold a conversation.
Maybe I’m just depressed…maybe I’ve always been depressed…or maybe I’m just missing some kind of spark most other humans have.
Like how does someone just know or decide like…”yeah I’m really into architecture.”?
I don’t know if I’ve ever felt like that…I feel like I’ve tried and it’s never lasted.
I feel like I’ve spent half my life just addicted to social media and video games and that’s no longer working.
I get that, I feel like I've never really been interested in anything. There's nothing about life I really like, no one I care for except for my mother and that's mostly just out of feelings of guilt.
When I see other people not being miserable I just feel like they must be faking things, I genuinely don't understand what the point of any of this is, or how life is fulfilling to them. I used to play a lot of video games in my spare time but for years now that has just been completely uninteresting too.
On the plus side, I've been able to get myself to consistently work out and stick to eating the same healthy and cheap things every single day for multiple years now, because I have no interest in trying anything else anymore and hated myself enough to stick with the training when it was tough at the start lol So maybe that's worth giving a shot?