Friends used to come so easy, now I hang on for dear life to the two I’ve made over the past 4 years even if those people aren’t treating me great. Like, it’s sooooooo difficult to talk to family members about this because they chalk it up to anxiety and tell me I need medication when it’s not necessarily anxiety at all. I meet someone in an attempt to befriend them and check in on them occasionally, but I’m always the initiator

So I’m trying to determine if it’s even worth it anymore, ya know? I’ve always had a difficult time differentiating self-care with narcissistic tendencies and maybe I’m just caring too much about myself in this situation and should just not think too hard about it? I’m just very structure-oriented and when the structure breaks down, my world comes down with it, at least sometimes it feels like that.

Does anyone understand what I am trying to get at sometimes I suck at words