Relapsed on cigarettes under heavy stress, disappointed in myself for that, gonna try quitting again after this pack and going back to vaping and zyn and eventually getting off nicotine altogether but that doesn't seem realistic for me currently

Kept up my no booze streak aside from a small champagne flute with Thanksgiving dinner (mwwaaaahh the French champagne has always been celebrated for its excellence)

Been doing small amounts of psilocybin as a self run depression treatment experiment and I feel like it's been really helpful? I take just enough to start feeling it physically and get a little funny feeling and like some rusted over neural connections are getting refuckulated but not enough to hallucinate and it's been nice? I'm enjoying music a lot more than I did for a long time dealing with major depression and I want to get back into practicing my instruments and learning new pieces and get a new amp and modest bedroom recording studio setup (and an extended range guitar and 6 string bass, but that might have to wait for next year financially)

All in all, making a lot of good progress.

Things are still rough mentally sometimes, but I keep trying to remind myself to treat myself as decently as I would treat someone else I care about who's struggling under the same kind of circumstances

Doesn't always work for me, but it helps

Stupid brain, be more nicer to yourself