Like, I'm AMAB but don't really identify with whatever "being a man" is supposed to mean in this society, but have no idea where to go from there.
I do get mildly dysphoric the more masculine I feel I'm being perceived as, but still want to use he/him pronouns because while those aren't that great of a match, none of the other options feel any better and it's what I'm used to.
I was already presenting how I wanted to present, and that's mildly androgynous, so it feels like coming out to myself hasn't really changed much of anything, and that's giving me imposter syndrome type intrusive thoughts when I think about telling other people I'm non-binary.
Also, I'm autistic, and at times it's incredibly hard to separate that from my gender. Anyone else have this problem? Often I'm not sure to what degree my not identifying with "being a man" is informed by a non-binary gender or if it's me just not being compatible with common neurotypical attitudes on gender. Maybe it's a little of both
Anyway sorry for the rambling post, just wanted to gather my thoughts
I think we might be quite similar maybe? I don't think about my identity much it's more a desire to not align with societies definition and expectations of masculinity. The more "masculine" i am the more miserable i feel but in general I'd rather just be perceived as me. My appearance preferences boil down to whatever is convenient and comfortable, my behaviours and characteristics are just what i like doing and beyond that all i really want is for people to stop measuring me against their fucked criteria and deciding I'm amoral because i don't conform to whatever stupid ideas they have come up with.