this just happened and I have no one to talk to and mods feel free to remove if this violates a rule

I’m staying with a cousin and after waking up I go grab my teeth brush and then she asks why I touched the wardrobe doors as it had marks. Problem was I had no knowledge or even remembering touching the doors so I told her I don’t remember, she called me a bitch after so whatever

Then she calls me up and tells me to go to the shop to buy some stuff. She says I’m not your mother. I don’t respond so I assume this meant I acknowledged what she said, but guess I was wrong because she screamed, threw my phone (no damage thankfully) and told me to go away. I break down in tears but eventually she calms down and gives me a hug, she notices my cold response and asks if I don’t love her

Whatever I’m sorry I needed to vent again mods feel free to remove if this violates a rule

  • PM_ME_YOUR_FOUCAULTS [he/him, they/them]
    ·
    2 days ago

    Do you have somewhere else to go if your relationship with your cousin is not salvageable? Have there been previous incidents? I feel like there might be some missing context here, but this behavior is not acceptable just based on the information you're providing.

    • whatdoiputhere12 [any, he/him]
      ·
      2 days ago

      I’ve calmed down now, yes this has happened before where she would lose her shit and then calm down and tolerate me again. I’m far from an expect, but I suspect she might have some issues mentally and in hindsight, when she told me “I’m not your mother” I should have said something as saying nothing would make her upset even more. Even then, I still believe it’s salvageable, and I have my grandparents I can stay with if shit heats up again or unsalvageable

      • PM_ME_YOUR_FOUCAULTS [he/him, they/them]
        ·
        2 days ago

        Regardless of whether you should forgive her or not, what you're describing is not a stable person who is safe for you to stay with, emotionally speaking (and possibly physically as well given what she did with your phone).

  • gila@lemm.ee
    ·
    2 days ago

    Then she calls me up and tells me to go to the shop to buy some stuff. She says I’m not your mother.

    Are these events linked? Strikes me as ironic given demanding someone go to the shop to buy stuff is like... Something children do to their mothers.

    I don't think you have to forgive her, but you could move past it, which is sorta different and is an option that preserves your relationship.

    Like, acknowledging that she is this way and it's unlikely to change, taking steps to protect yourself from that kind of behaviour, but deciding to love her anyway.

    • whatdoiputhere12 [any, he/him]
      ·
      2 days ago

      Are these events linked?

      yes, like it happened right after she called me a bitch

      sorry I’m shit at conveying what happened or how I write it

      • gila@lemm.ee
        ·
        2 days ago

        No worries, you're fine at describing what happened, there's just missing context. Like, she was demanding you to go to the shop to buy things for yourself, or for her, or for you both? Was there some standing obligation for you to do that outside what's in your post?