picture unrelated but it makes me happy to look at
climate doomerism
How do you cope with the impending climate collapse? I try so hard to just keep on going one day at a time but sometimes I get so deep in the darkness I have to go out and grab a coffee or something to keep my kid from seeing my mood and asking what's wrong.
I don't see the world being a good place for them to live by the time they're an adult and I feel intense guilt for bringing them into such a world. I've got plenty of arguments against antinatalism, I have plenty of theoretical reasons why people should continue to have children (only the fash having kids seems like a bad thing) but at the end of the day I feel like they will resent having been born when they find out that I was well aware of the state of the world at the time.
Sorry for the bad vibes.
If you don't have kids and reply I might get upset but I'll try to just ignore you
Parent of one kid. Honestly, I fucking love this kid to the moon and back, so I don't think I could just go back in time and choose not to have them, but at the same time I feel so selfish for forcing this life on them. That said, I think they really love their life; they seem to, anyway. And I have spoken to them about the state of the world, and I have specifically asked about are they glad to be here, and they said yes. I can be a bit of a doomer, but I try to force myself to be more bloomer-y to try to balance things out.
thank you i appreciate the reply. I suppose it's not up to me whether or not they are happy to be here regardless of the state of the world
I've been in the doomer position with this in the past, but with time I've also chosen to consider the way nature and humans as a part of it are far more resilient than we think. I mean I know we are fucked, but nobody knows what will happen. How we might adapt or survive.
And that there has always been struggle, but people have still been born, lived and loved, died. Some young and some old, but living and being human is alone "worth it". Basically life is shit, but without shit no flowers would ever grow.
And to be fair these existential crisis are in many ways beyond our control so we can only work with what we can actually do, locally and side by side with our comrades. It's both very real and not real for the everyday life.
My kid has grown up into a wonderful human who wants to change the world for the better. The world is better with him in it is my very biased opinion. He has hope so I try to have it too.
But the struggle remains the same as it has always been, we work to change this, we never stop. If we fail, we at least tried. Everybody dies, what matters is the trying. Cringy as it may be.
People in war zones wake up every day and go on living and have kids, that is how we are.
People in war zones wake up every day and go on living and have kids, that is how we are.
Something for me to really chew on. Obviously i know this inherently but it's truly a testament to, as you said, resilience of the human spirit. Thank you for the reply.
I’ve been struggling a lot lately with feeling like everything’s going to hell, and it feels a bit embarrassing to admit, but your comment actually got me a little teary. You hit on a lot of issues I’ve been struggling with in a very realistic way.
My dad had an incredibly doomed outlook on life, and spent most of my childhood either sombrely telling me he regret having children because the world was terrible and only getting worse, or howling about how the four horsemen were coming and we would burn because we were all sinners. I don’t want to pass the fear and hopelessness that his way of thinking and acting instilled in me onto my son, and it's a strong motivator to work on my mindset. Like you, I’m of the biased opinion that the world is a better place with my son in it, and I want him to grow up knowing I feel that way, and with hope of making meaningful change, rather than being paralysed into inaction right from the get go.
I’m slowly reaching a place where l can let myself feel the disappointment and fear, but try to counter it with the knowledge that feeling totally hopeless means I won’t make any good change, however small. It's reassuring to know so many of us are together in those feelings, but persevere regardless.
For me a lot of the despair is actually grief, sadness and also legitimate anger at how the generations past have let it come to this. Just last night before bed this incredible very abnormal snowfall started where I live and I felt that deep grief and anger. The feeling of powerlesness and inability to change this is tied to it. It's the struggle under the dictatorship of the few that you feel in your gut.
And the backdrop to that is the deep love and affection I feel for my kid, the way I desperarely want the world to be better for him and for all kids and all people. It's the disappoinment and anger I often feel towards people like my own parents who lived in a very "fuck you got mine" way and then resorted to apathy and nihilims and saying shit like "it's the job of the next generations to save us". I get why they are like this, but I refuse to accept it. They should have known better, there is always a choice to do better.
These boomers and liberty hippies have passed on this vibe of how history has ended and now we are all to just slowly learn to accept suffering and decline. It's a part of the same capitalist crap that told budding Marx readers like me that I am an utopian idealist and how stuff like that would never work "in the real world". Everything and everyone around us is programmed to dooming like this and that is why nothing ever changes. And it's no wonder it feels desperate sometimes, we are told constantly that it is. The most popular scifi is dystopian, we are fed stories with bad endings day in and day out.
Take away peoples hope, you take away a lot of what makes us human. The ruling class gets this imo.
Solidarity.
I recently had twins and have struggled with this very same thought. The 2 things that I’ve tried to keep in mind:
-
Small picture: Despite the future problems definitely being incredibly serious, humans have had children in dire situations before and people can find joy in life even when the world isn’t in a great place. Even doing small things with your kids can make their day/childhood so just being a good parent who loves your kid will go a long way.
-
Big picture: Like you said if only facists are raising kids the future will be more difficult. That’s not to say we should put a lot on our kids to “fix” the world all by themselves but raising them to care about other people and be active in their communities is good.
Sorry if that isn’t super helpful
Thank you, it's honestly partially calming to know i'm not alone in these thoughts.
-
Like many others have said, so much of it is outside my control, so many people had kids in so many more dire situations. Even still, climate change might not impact them, but the growing fascist tide very well might. For my daughter it already has, with the loss of abortion rights. Even still, all that does is make me more militant. In fact, she is 4, born during covid. I think I wouldn't have radicalized if it wasn't for her and my son.
The thought of impending fascist rule and potential climate disaster only fules my education and commitment to a communist future. I hope to provide them with the perspective and worldview that sets them up to come to the same conclusions. I look at young people like Greta Thornburg and that gives me hope and fills me with optimism.
I feel this so much. Having a covid baby radicalized me in a way I don't think would've been possible otherwise. Crazy to see family freak out at me for asking them to wear a mask to see/hold my newborn...nothing made me reevaluate more than those moments.
For me it was experiencing covid lockdown procedures at the hospital, where no one was allowed to visit and I had to stay in the hospital for the whole labor and recovery, while arguing with my HR department about how much time off I'm allowed. Turns out, 0 time off unless I used all my PTO and only getting 2 weeks as a result.
Watching the lockdown end and being forced back into work (I do public school IT) but having to deal with the covid protocol at daycare. Kid would get "exposed" and have to spend 2 weeks out of daycare, no compensation to the family, and work would make you take days. Work has no "work from home" policy on the books. So thankfully my boss was cool and let me work from home, but it was under the table.
The whole "school from home" thing was bad and not effective and clearly damaging to these kids. I'm glad my kids missed out on that. I feel for the kids who didn't though. The stimulus packages ending child hunger, houseless population at record lows, then it all just vanished. Most people learned nothing from the experience either. Clearly so much of our social issues could be resolved by policy, but it never will.
Ugh, that does suck. I live in California and luckily had paid family leave available and my employer was okay with the time off.
Yea, the forced removal with no recompense was brutal...luckily for myself, there were no daycare involved as it was our first child but my partner taught elementary kids so we saw tons of families struggling with the protocols.
The school from home was rough too. It was difficult for kids who were already behind. It was especially damaging for children who cane from disadvantaged communities or those with low parent involvement.
You know, with this bird flu coming around, maybe we can get another shot...multiple people where I live have contracted it. Albeit from raw milk....
Other replies cover it better, but I tend to fall back on a little toxic stoicism for coping. Climate change isn't going to be a light switch, things will change over time. You, me and our children are going to adapt to it. My middle kid is happy with a bowl of rice and running around outside, if we need to adjust to digging an underground mud hole while eating tree roots, well still eek out a good time somehow.
![[serious][CW: doomer] I would prefer if only actual parents replied to this thread. question in body.](https://hexbear.net/pictrs/image/0e4561e9-917b-41ee-b029-4110b61ac307.jpeg){kind=link}