[I'm new to c/chat so please remove the post if it isn't fitting for the community. I didn't know where else to post and will gladly move this one if necessary.]
I don't want this to be a long-ass rant, but I gotta air my frustration as I'm (as of now) spending new year's eve alone.
2024 was a shit year, both personally - for a ton of reasons - as well as gestures around you know exactly what I mean. I've been looking for work ever since last year, and that is an absolutely shitty position to be in atm. You know the drill, nobody will hire anyone without work experience but nobody will let you get any experience with pay or at all if you're no longer enrolled in college. So I've been applying to whatever I could get, roughly in the direction of what I've been studying, but there's just no positive feedback. Either it's formulaic "sorry to inform you but..." or "found someone better suited to the position" etc etc.
If you do this long enough, it just becomes a hopelessly worthless routine, and none of your applications feel like they led to anything. So naturally, you complain to family and friends, because hey, those are people who would support you in your time of need, or so you'd think. I've learned the hard lesson on family multiple times already, so it came as no surprise when an aunt told me to "just do the job you were trained for". There's nothing to get there, auntie, at least not if I want to make rent and pay for food, duh. Second thing that pissed me of royally was extended family tonight. Talking around the dinner table about how this year dragged on forever, I was told that it's no surprise I feel that way, because "if you were doing something, time would pass quicker".
Safe to say, I removed myself from the room immediately and hope I can avoid the lot until at least tomorrow morning. Friends aren't really helpful either because they got a job through "friends of the family" or aren't looking for work (yet).
Anyway, I'm typing this because I didn't want to feel alone on New Year's Eve with my sensation of being bullied for not having a job and not having someone to talk to. I hope someone understands.
Edit: You guys have really made me feel a lot less shit with your comments, thank you <3
Thanks for reading my rant as well and for the kind words. This is one of my needy traits, the need for external validation. So it really means a lot to have my thoughts validated. Which is normal, of course, for everyone.
I think this is part of what you are seeking and can't get from your family as well. Support, validation. I'm really sorry you're not receiving that, it sucks.
And yeah, the gender representation thing, that's specifically a fear about what other people will be looking for and is a part of my brain worms that I'm working on eradicating RFK Jr style.
Anytime, friend, and thank you for understanding as well. I can't properly reply bc otherwise I'll probably start crying
And I know you can work through your brain worms just as much as I can, and have to. We're on a good track, knowing what we have to change about ourselves, and I do feel encouraged, knowing I'm not the only one trying to be kinder to myself, others, and still learning so much about everything.
I just threw on Lord of the Rings for the evening. You mentioned elsewhere you're going to watch Star Trek TOS? Any particular favorite episodes?
A brilliant idea! I hope it's the extended cut?
Oh, favorite episodes is hard to tell, but from what I've rewatched so far, I'd say it's The Devil in The Dark (s01e26).
Yes, the extended cut if course! I think I can get through at least one movie this year.
Devil in the Dark is a classic star trek episode structure! What a great choice. I should watch more TOS. I haven't seen it in probably 20 years