[I'm new to c/chat so please remove the post if it isn't fitting for the community. I didn't know where else to post and will gladly move this one if necessary.]
I don't want this to be a long-ass rant, but I gotta air my frustration as I'm (as of now) spending new year's eve alone.
2024 was a shit year, both personally - for a ton of reasons - as well as gestures around you know exactly what I mean. I've been looking for work ever since last year, and that is an absolutely shitty position to be in atm. You know the drill, nobody will hire anyone without work experience but nobody will let you get any experience with pay or at all if you're no longer enrolled in college. So I've been applying to whatever I could get, roughly in the direction of what I've been studying, but there's just no positive feedback. Either it's formulaic "sorry to inform you but..." or "found someone better suited to the position" etc etc.
If you do this long enough, it just becomes a hopelessly worthless routine, and none of your applications feel like they led to anything. So naturally, you complain to family and friends, because hey, those are people who would support you in your time of need, or so you'd think. I've learned the hard lesson on family multiple times already, so it came as no surprise when an aunt told me to "just do the job you were trained for". There's nothing to get there, auntie, at least not if I want to make rent and pay for food, duh. Second thing that pissed me of royally was extended family tonight. Talking around the dinner table about how this year dragged on forever, I was told that it's no surprise I feel that way, because "if you were doing something, time would pass quicker".
Safe to say, I removed myself from the room immediately and hope I can avoid the lot until at least tomorrow morning. Friends aren't really helpful either because they got a job through "friends of the family" or aren't looking for work (yet).
Anyway, I'm typing this because I didn't want to feel alone on New Year's Eve with my sensation of being bullied for not having a job and not having someone to talk to. I hope someone understands.
Edit: You guys have really made me feel a lot less shit with your comments, thank you <3
So many boomers think that folks can just go out and get a job, any job, that will pay them a comfortable wage with health insurance and everything. Like duh if that was real everyone would just go do that. They think we're so stupid because "why don't you just work!" Like holy shit why didn't we think of that! Wow! They have zero idea how the world is anymore, if it ever even was that way. It's so ridiculous and demeaning.
Get a job? Just get a job? Why don't I strap on my job helmet and squeeze down into a job cannon and fire off into job land, where jobs grow on jobbees?!
In renewable energy, public housing, public health, or some other non-murderous field, right?
Honestly I would start with just cleaning and fixing shit
Housing also an urgent priority
Based. I have no idea why this is opposed at all.
: “Sorry folks, ran out of jobs. I just don’t need so many workers.”
: “Not to worry, I’ll find work for all these extras to do!”
: “Noooo! For some reason I oppose this, it’s literally 1984 tyranny!”
Yes, exactly, it's just hilarious how many older people, not just boomers, believe this shit. None of the jobs I have applied for since graduation are jobs that I actually want, but I've managed to write some of the most stellar letters of application I've ever thought possible, so it's not like I'm not learning how to lie in my niche of corporate language. But just knowing how to say the right things doesn't get you a job. It never has. And if you don't have anyone "influential" to back you up, your labor amounts to nothing. And then you get shamed for it, as if you didn't put fucking effort into doing something that is mandatory but its outcome is arbitrary. God I wanna puke.
You definitely aren't alone there, I've spent years off and on in this situation and I'm sure long-term unemployment is way more common than the lying stats say.
The best part is when you're me and you do finally get a hell minimum wage job your family still isn't pleased, hell, some of my remote family have basically disowned me and my dad over my inability to get 'fitting work' in their eyes.
On behalf of all of us who get mistreated by their families for shitty jobs, I will mentally punch them for you so you don't have to.
Kidding aside, I hope you can, at some point, at least find a job that makes you feel good about what you're doing, and never have to concern yourself with these people's demeaning treatments again. We're stronger than this!
I understand, being jobless is very harsh, especially people start treating you like worthless trash, even if you did "everything right" before. Like I had to tell one of my parents, back when I had a year of just not finding a job, despite having a degree in a STEM field (I come from an rural area and it was/is a troubled economy), that I wasnt being picky and why I could not just "get" one. Mind you that parent had worked in the same job and company for 50 years and only had two job interviews in their entire live during historic economic boom.
I can only try to imagine how furious you must have been. At the same time, it's so easy to laugh about parents/people of that age group, because of what you said, that a lot of self-control goes into not ridiculing them for their archaic beliefs.
Judging by your phrasing I'm gonna assume you managed to get a job eventually, and I am happy you got out of that seemingly inescapable pit. Let's just say, should we ever get in a position similar to that of your parent, I know both of us will be wise enough not to talk down to the next generation.
Yeah it was bad, my parent did concede that they ultimately did not have a clue but you know its always easier to flippantly throw out accusations and start drama. I did manage to get a job - for now at least. Even my parent became more sympathetic to my former situation once the working conditions declined massively and working became a chore, they actually had a job they loved doing and fulfilled them! Imagine that.
A fulfilling job? In this economy?
Kidding aside, happy to hear it got better for you!
I think my frustration doesn't come from their lived experience and where their belief comes from, its their condescension and unwillingness to change based on how things are now reported from people they ostensibly care about.
I'm spending tonight at home, sipping some booze and playing video games. We are alone together.
We are, comrade, we are
I think I'm gonna re-watch some of the original Star Trek series. Out of curiosity, what games are you playing?
The original Star Trek is a favorite of mine! As for me, I've mostly been replaying TES II: Daggerfall using the Daggerfall: Unity engine: dfworkshop.net.
Omg how cool! I'll have a longer look at the unity engine later, and while I don't understand much of these engines, learning never hurt. Enjoy yourself!
Sorry you are going through this. What you happen to do for sustenance is in no way a reflection of your worth as an individual.
I hope you find a gig soon, the only thing worse than working is not working
2024 has been a shitty year. I am not trying to make this about me, but I wanted to share that I and other people are having really shitty times too and you're not alone. The holiday season is supposed to be a cozy happy time, so when things aren't great it feels so much worse. I'm with you friend, you're not alone. I'll be online throughout the day so I'm happy to chat in the thread here. I hope that things get better for you in 2025.
my rant
I am lonelier than I've ever been, and it's really intensifying on new years. I feel like I should be doing great but I'm not. My ex-partner are still living together but co-parenting our kids, I have friends but nobody who I am actually comfortable with opening up to about how isolating this situation is, and my parents who seem oblivious to the idea that we're separated. The only adult interaction I have regularly is from someone who is really looking forward to moving out away from me but just can't yet. I vibed with someone I met but they are seeing someone else and although we are attracted to each other, they seem not that interested in making time for me. It hurts. The last two weeks has really hammered home that I need to find someone who actually likes and wants to be around me, but I'm worried that I'm too old, too annoyingly high energy, too needy, and not stereotypically male enough to find someone I'll bond with.
Thank you, it means a lot to hear that, and I've seen it happen with other friends too. I've always been something of a "therapy friend" to most people, but really, out of my own free will, so still people tell me how they're doing and if I have any advice. Thus it makes it so relieving when someone, upon reading/hearing what I'm going through, just says "I'm with you, you're not alone". It means the world to me, and I'm grateful for it.
Concerning your rant
I think you have every right to talk about this, in this thread as well, and I wish I could do more than express my sympathies, like you have done for me. Stay strong, I believe there are better times ahead for both you and me, as well. What I can tell you, tho, is that every single person I've ever heard say they thought they were "too annoyingly high energy, too needy" are never the ones who should be saying that. The people who are really needy don't acknowledge that, just as much as those who are actually too high energy (and if you can be too high energy is something I find debatable as well). I firmly believe you should never try to represent as something stereotypically assigned to a gender. Rather, try to represent yourself as you feel comfortable, be yourself, and the person(s) who are actually interested in you will cross your way. This counts for both friends and potential romantic partners. I hope this helps, at least a little bit.
Thanks for reading my rant as well and for the kind words. This is one of my needy traits, the need for external validation. So it really means a lot to have my thoughts validated. Which is normal, of course, for everyone.
I think this is part of what you are seeking and can't get from your family as well. Support, validation. I'm really sorry you're not receiving that, it sucks.
And yeah, the gender representation thing, that's specifically a fear about what other people will be looking for and is a part of my brain worms that I'm working on eradicating RFK Jr style.
Anytime, friend, and thank you for understanding as well. I can't properly reply bc otherwise I'll probably start crying
And I know you can work through your brain worms just as much as I can, and have to. We're on a good track, knowing what we have to change about ourselves, and I do feel encouraged, knowing I'm not the only one trying to be kinder to myself, others, and still learning so much about everything.
I just threw on Lord of the Rings for the evening. You mentioned elsewhere you're going to watch Star Trek TOS? Any particular favorite episodes?
A brilliant idea! I hope it's the extended cut?
Oh, favorite episodes is hard to tell, but from what I've rewatched so far, I'd say it's The Devil in The Dark (s01e26).
Yes, the extended cut if course! I think I can get through at least one movie this year.
Devil in the Dark is a classic star trek episode structure! What a great choice. I should watch more TOS. I haven't seen it in probably 20 years
"just do the job you were trained for"
A very
moment.Hope you can find some quiet space to yourself that doesn't feel so lonely tonight.
Are you me? I'm literally in an identical boat.
But yeah, 2024 was a shit year.
My condolences. My family gave me some shit for being stuck at a crappy job for years, but when I finally moved out my dad discovered my huge ass collection of resumes, brochures, and related material they finally shut up about that stuff. Being without a job is obviously worse, but there was a time that you could stretch some paltry savings or hope for some odd task to get some spare cash.
Sorry if I made that seem like I was making that about myself, but I get where you're coming from. Just try and surround yourself with friends where you can. They likely won't understand, but it can sometimes be the only thing keeping you from screaming into a pillow.
No, it does not sound like you're making it about yourself. Thank you for telling me how you relate to what I wrote, and I'm glad that at least the discovery of your application history made your parents stop. I only doubt that my family will see it this way, since there's no "papertrail" for online applications. I hope they'll at least stop asking about it once I get any job.
I will try to do that, as best as I can. Thank you again for your kind words, and might I add, the pillow is a good alternative if no friends are at hand.
