My last crushpost got a little weird. They usually don’t get much attention, and what little there is I think is usually men. So this thread should be a good opportunity for women and enbies to bring up what you find problematic.
Update:
Thanks everyone for responding. I have read all the replies and am giving them serious consideration. I will stop crushposting, I deleted all the posts, and deleted the meat of this post as well. Weird or not, however obfuscated, it’s still an obsession and a privacy concern.
I don’t know the full details of your relationship with these two women.
I don’t know the full details of your relationship to your gender.
The only things I know is the stuff you have been presenting in your crushposts.
As you say they don’t get a lot of attention (at least not from misogyny-affected individuals), but I can attest that people do read them (even if they don’t comment), and several women have felt uncomfortable about it.
Which I imagine the girl it’s about would as well, if she knew, but that’s another story.
Like I said I can’t talk to the truth of the matter, but I can tell you from what you present how it comes off and it comes off as like a creepy dude obsessing over women.
My advice is to just get some closure on this whole matter, stop pining from afar and letting this fester.
I’m not even saying you need confess, but at the very least get some confirmation on her sexuality from her own mouth.
You are friends, it doesn’t have to be creepy, you could start by talking about your own sexuality and have it develop from there.
I want to stress that the part people were taking offense with wasn’t you talking about your dick (although that does add to the visceralness of it all) it’s that you pretty much went into the night with the expectation of sex from a girl who is your friend and basically a lesbian.
Now maybe one or both of those things aren’t true, MAYBE she is actually into some men (or penised individuals) and you happen to fall into that category.
MAYBE she does see you as more than a friend and has been throwing signals.
But you are getting way too ahead of yourself, you are taking any sliver of hope you can get that there is a chance she likes you and jumping straight to sex.
I can never know the full story, but based on experience with men, I think a lot of women can read that post and your other posts with the take away that maybe you aren’t a totally reliable narrator and are being kind of desperate and deluding yourself about how into you this girl really is.
I can never know, I am purely speaking to the vibes as I read them as a trans woman, but I suggest you get to the bottom of whatever this truly is for both of your sakes.
I'm not trying to tone police, I have no ball in this game other than hoping that people feel safe on here. I think it would be best to not phrase it this way due to OP mentioning basically being gender as "not a man". I'm not a fan of "not all men" type arguments so don't read this as a defense of their behavior in that line but with a queer twist, I just don't want fellow non-binary people to get hit in this as crossfire, because I know how often being non-binary can be basically a constant state of worrying about being misgendered for doing something too creepy or weird. And frankly creepy shit is creepy shit, I know gender has quite a lot to do with how creepy people can come across but in this very specific case where he has specifically mentioned not wanting to be a man I wouldn't take this direction and would rather we just focus on the fact it's creepy
Edit:
"penised individuals" is a weird distinction for who a lesbian would or wouldn't fuck and I hope this is unintentional or just an unintentionally botched way to try to accommodate OP's gender
The penised individuals was a reference to a descriptor blight used last night, I was just trying to put it in the terms he used as an example.
ah ok. It's definitely a weird term to use regardless but in that case it isn't your fault it entered the conversation, sorry
I wondered where that came from
Yeah, maybe I should have thought harder before repeating it, my assumption is that she is potentially into cissexual amab non-binary people…or something idk how else to phrase it.
I understand where you are coming from and if blight has a problem with it I’ll try to adjust the wording, but he was point blank asked last night if he identified as enby and basically dodged the question and said he didn’t care.
I’m not trying to get into a whole conversation about gender identity, my main point is about how it comes across to post some of these things especially from someone using he/him pronouns.
I see your point, but frankly think it’s besides the matter as the discussion revolves around misogyny and misogyny effected vs unaffected individuals which the latter blight would fall under.