sliding into harder stuff to get off and I know it's a clear sign of porn addiction.

Is it? I think you know best if you have a problem or not, so more power to you abstaining if you feel you should, but watching like, fetish porn or whatever isn't inherently a sign of addiction IMO. Just to get that out of the way.

I go back and forth on porn myself. It's a nice aid to get off sometimes, but I also find it sort of desensitizes me in a way I don't like, its hard to find porn that isn't... icky, in terms of how it portrays sex and gender and etc. and sometimes I feel it dulls my desire to like, actually look for a real life partner, so I've gone stretches where I just didn't watch it, and used toys or fantasized about past partners, etc. instead to get off when I wanted to, or sought out a hookup (easier if you live in a big city and have grindr as an option, probably much harder for the average straight man I suppose). Getting off without the visual stimulus of porn seems really difficult if that's all you're used to, but it really isn't for me at least, as long as I am in the right headspace (horny, mainly I guess, but also just like not uber depressed/stressed). It takes a little longer to get there but it's much more gratifying IMO.

If you'd rather abstain entirely that's also an option but I don't think there's a lot of specific advice I can give on that, you just have to choose not to masturbate. don't keep toys or lotion/lube or tissues or whatever else by your bed/wherever you usually do it. don't have sites bookmarked or whatever, or don't sub to that kind of thing online if you don't want to see it and be reminded. from what I've heard you could also just get on certain SSRIs lol. And I second what FourteenEyes said, if you think maybe its just a boredom/lack of stimulation thing, then you have to have other shit to do, whether it's reading, touching grass in some way or another, walking and listening to podcasts, or some other shit you're into/want to be into.

Get a hobby

Seriously if you're doing it out of boredom just find something else to occupy yourself with, preferably a communal activity so plan B can't be jerking off

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Quitting drugs has helped.

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I'd say if you can journal in a safe space, maybe write down things in porn you gravitate towards. Don't immediately go into a shame response if you can help it, but question. What are you getting from the different content? What patterns do you notice? What do you feel you lost after spending time and energy to find videos you watch? What happens when you try to get off without any media?

I didn't have a lot of guidance as an LGBTQ person figuring out sexuality. Looking back, I could see my viewing habits reflected my issues around self esteem and wanting to be sexualized in a specific way.

If you feel like your sexuality is affecting your mental health, or if your mental health is affecting your sexuality, it could help to investigate how the two interact.

I don't know how to reduce frequency, but I think if you feel like it's taking time away from you that you'd rather spend doing something else, maybe give yourself a daily timer. Also having a set of rules on content you watch or time you spend could give you a sense of control.

I wish I had more help to offer, but as long as you aren't hurting anyone or neglecting things that are important to you, it's okay to take time and figure this out.

ing up because fuck the police

I have an ADHD perspective. I find its difficult to regulate anything once I'm diving down the hole. Often I try to reality-check myself; do I really want X or am I just bored? X could be smoking, drinking, sex, eating, wikipedia, refreshing Hexbear.net 14 times, etc, etc. Its very much like Doomscrolling, but instead I'm continuously looking for something to sate myself. With porn in particular I often ask if I'm legitimately horny or simply need new stimulation.

Whatever it is I try an interrupt it with something else. A favorite interrupt is some exercise. I have a door frame pull-up bar, and a few sets usually is enough to reset my head. Pushups and burpees are good as well. Another tactic is to put myself outside my immediate surroundings as a way to interrupt the behavior. Maybe I'll grab a coffee or some grocery shopping. Even going for a short walk or drive puts me physically in a different space, which also makes my brain shift to a different mental space. This short-circuits 90% of my problems. I like @RoomAndBored@hexbear.net's idea of separating the viewing from the nutting, and you can use the latter to break the codependency with the former.

Finally, every now and again I get a steamy earwhig that absolutely drives me to obsession. For those I grab a journal and write down as many details as I can and make a story of it. The act of going over the details, paradoxically, takes much of the edge off and I can usually fall into one of the above tactics after a while.

I love beatin' my meat, and I think it's healthy to. But you can do it without porn. I'd look into getting off of porn (it's bad, like, seriously - the porn industry is fucked up and very bad), but NOT getting of of masturbating (which is cool and good). Slowly try to rely more on your imagination and less on external images.

https://easypeasymethod.org

Obviously I don't want any weirdo no-fap reactionary shit.

I'm glad you are at least asking this, because fapping too much to porn is definitely not good for you. The problem is, because of the no-fap reddit communities, the knee-jerk response from hexbear will be "there's absolutely no problem at all!" I've noticed that when I go nofap even for a few days is that I feel more energetic. I also get more of an "urge" to try to talk to the opposite sex, instead of just being passive about it. And I think the opposite sex also notices this change in behavior and it comes off as more confident and assertive. For example, you walk around and get smiles, or at least notice the little signs that someone might be into you. Maybe this is sexual interest over-perception bias, but at least that's how I feel. You miss all the shots you never take, right? Lastly, I also appreciate the beauty of the opposite sex more, whereas before someone would have to be "mega hot" for me to pay attention, with nofap I appreciate even "regular" looking people. Maybe that means my mind is getting "desperate," but I'd like to think of it as me appreciating natural beauty instead of the hyper sexualized stuff you see in media.

But either way I think this is a healthy conversation to have