Communism is good and beautiful but not all communists are good or beautiful people and not all of them found communism the same way you did.
And as @DirtbagVegan said, the internet has a way of bringing out the worst in people.
If this place isn't good for you, logging off for a while, just browsing the memes, or doing "drive by" fire and forget comments on takes you think are bad and not reading the replies are all good tactics to try and make chapo.chat a better place for you or a better place in general at minimal cost to you.
Thanks for fighting the good fight and please, don't let a few extremely online people affect your values or wellbeing.
Being on the left means you recognize the inherent dignity of every person and want to work towards a just society that provides for and protects everyone.
Being on the internet is pretty much the opposite of that most of the time.
Honestly it’s hard to do much now because of covid but irl praxis > anything online. Reading a damn book > online too. If you want something fun to read, how about Soon To Be A Motion Picture by Abbie Hoffman?
I come here to post shit and fuck dads, and I'm all out of dads. Also, never open struggle session threads.
I recommend listening to Matt Christman's streams, he talks a lot about this. Check out /r/acidmarxism too, the sub for his streams. Or just log off, since the internet is generally terrible.
Reading theory in general relaxed my view of the people who lack the self awareness to understand that you have to at least try be social to be a socialist. I haven't changed my mind or anything, it just doesn't bother me as much as when I first started coming to these spaces. I think it's because I no longer have to wonder if the assholes are right, I have enough info to decide on my own.
As for what theory, sometimes I just go for books related to the topic that I'm getting irritated over. Of course there are the foundational books and essays that I don't feel like I need to repeat because I am sure I will leave off enough to make it look like I have an agenda.
Might not be a bad idea to unsub from main and explore the smaller communities that are less likely to have struggle sessions.
As for "internet isn't real life" I used to feel that way. It still isn't the same as IRL obviously, but it is a real part of our lives. It's just that people act like they're driving a car and impotently flipping everyone off because they're inside a cage (anonymity) You don't have to give in to this impulse if you don't want to. It's made my life a lot easier to make an effort to think of someone as a human.
I have no idea what to tell you with such vague ideas about your "moral values" because I don't know you and you're not gonna like what conclusions I'm drawing from looking at your post history. So you're gonna have to elaborate.
Possibly some Fanon would help? Wretched of the Earth (not that I think the bulk of people here have read it) goes some way to contextualising some of that rhetoric.
But generally, I thought here had been pretty good. Better than some sections of left Twitter, anyway.