I'm a cleaner, at a public hospital, and with this whole plague shit, we have even less people than usual. Add to that that I'm one of a smaller group of cleaners who's capable of cleaning the covid ward and icu, as many others have families, elderly relatives or immunocompromized people living at home. Or are kinda old, or immunocompromized themselves. Or they're straight up scared, which is entirely understandable.
But this means that when I'm called in to work 6-7-8 day weeks, (10 being the most I've gone.) often at short notice, to cover for people, I feel a moral obligation to step in, no matter how tired I am, or how much I just wanna tell them to fuck off.
And it ain't money insecurity either, because I've got enough hours, and our union has kept pay pretty reasonable.
On the one hand, I don't owe it to the people paying me. They pay me for when I'm there, but that doesn't obligate me to be there more than I can handle. But I still feel I owe it to, you know, society and shit. To my co-workers, because if I don't do it, one of the other overworked people capable of it will have to do it on top of what they'r already doing, because it still has to get done.
Add to that my really annoying messiah complex.
How do I deal with this? How do you deal with shit like this?
There are important distinctions between "overworking myself because I believe in the sanctifying power of work", "overworking myself because I want to make more money", and "overworking myself because there's meaningful work that needs doing". This sounds like the last option, which, if you feel compelled to take it on, is noble. You're not obligated to do it, but society is better for it. How do you deal with it? If it's destroying you, then remind yourself that if you burn out and crash, you're not only going to have to stop working, but your normal workload is going to get picked up by your fellow workers, too. Have you talked with them about the situation?
Yeah I think this is right. OP I think you need to think about how you've been handling your workload and the effect its had on you so far, evaluate honestly how many hours you think you can realistically take on, do as much as you can but not more. If it's destroying you mentally and/or physically you're not going to be any good to anyone, least of all yourself. Your wellbeing is worth advocating for, even if your work is important, and at some point it will become not even a choice so you're really gonna want to get ahead of that.