this stems from another conversation on this site.

a commenter used the pronoun "they" because they didn't know the gender. Commenter could have looked at an inactives users profile to see the pronouns were she/her, but they didn't.

So the question is: is it wrong to use pronoun "they" when you simply don't know or needed to know the gender? I was told that "liberals" use it aggressively/offensively to trans people, but most liberals i know aren't smart enough to know about pronouns and how to use them properly.

I've been using "they" to admit gender ignorance all the fuckin time so im just trying to see if im wrong or not. Because ive never heard of this before. and i thought this site had told me everything by now lol

edit: thank you all for the comments. ill certainly try to remember to check pronouns of inactive accounts before i talk about them, but we need to be able to debate from a reasonable position and jumping to "HOW DARE YOU SAY THEY YOU LIB" isn't going to do shit. Lenin created schools to educate workers, Hexbear is our school. and i fucking love this school.

  • sunfane [comrade/them]
    ·
    10 months ago

    I think it's considered a microaggression when it's used by less-than-well-meaning libs (often parents of trans teens who don't respect their child's chosen pronouns) who think nobody will notice they've "beat the system" avoiding misgendering by they/theming. There's also a contingent of the trans community that prefer strict adherence for themselves to the gender binary and are rather sensitive when it comes to discussions of being non-binary or "dismantling the gender binary". Because of these factors, and more, some people outright reject they/them as general all-purpose pronouns, especially so if their preferred pronouns were previously listed/discussed/etc

    Edit: I've heard weaponizing they/them is more of a thing on TERF island but I don't know enough to speak on that

    • Cummunism [they/them, he/him]
      ·
      10 months ago

      Because of these factors, and more, some people outright reject they/them as general all-purpose pronouns, especially so if their preferred pronouns were previously listed/discussed/etc

      i totally understand it if pronouns were discussed. but just to outright reject it as a way to admit ignorance is just taking it too far in my opinion. we have to have a way of admitting "i don't know. There is a shitload of things in this world that people on HexBear should be offended by(and rightfully so), but if we take it too far we won't be taken seriously. we're trying to drag society to the left by an inch with every pull. we need to have a way for people to admit they just don't know or understand something. Those are people worth saving. Know-it-alls are pretty much worthless. We're all stupid in some way(s). Microaggression is a weird term though, it sounds like someone just looking for any thing to be offended by. Macroaggressions concern me the most.

    • DroneRights [it/its]
      ·
      10 months ago

      There's also a contingent of the trans community that prefer strict adherence for themselves to the gender binary and are rather sensitive when it comes to discussions of being non-binary or "dismantling the gender binary".

      I hate those people and their "I can't be transphobic because I'm trans" so much. I'm glad you confirmed that they exist and I'm not delusional