Trying to decide if this is a battle worth picking, but I think I'm going to go for it. Like honestly maybe it should be its own post or something but whatever.
I see this joke a lot, and I think it's like, really bad. I was bullied as a kid, and it did not make me a better person. All the toxic attitudes that could have made me a right winger, or maybe a shitlib, if I didn't have the right influences at the right time, like 90% of them were defense mechanisms I developed as a result of the trauma of being bullied. Believing I was smarter than anyone else, believing that nerds are an oppressed class, thinking I was destined to be a billionaire like Bill Gates, being told by my mother that my bullies would be pumping my gas someday and believing her, and at least some of why I had toxic attitudes about women (niceguyism was absolutely wrapped up in toxic nerd cultureism). Bullying does an absolute number on a person's psyche, and its extremely rare that it turns out well. Like maybe sometimes it can make a person more empathetic I guess but most of the time you just develop really toxic coping mechanisms that lead to toxic behavior as an adult. You start seeing anyone who criticizes you as a bully, and double down on shitty opinions, shit like that.
Honestly, because of Chapo (and a bit because of my hatred of my past self) I adopted some of this "bullying is good rhetoric" and used it in an argument in a trans discord server I'm in. The admins hammered me for it. I made references to "swirlies" and shit. I did so because the person was absolutely reveling in toxic nerd culture, but it was pointed out to me by the admins that swirlies and other forms of physical bullying are things that like, have actually happened to people. And that shit is traumatic. I didn't take it seriously at first because as much social bullying as I dealt with, I was never physically bullied because I was a tall boy. So I didn't relate to it directly. But yeah, that was a big wakeup call to how toxic that shit is, and I no longer like that Chapo likes to revel in it. I don't expect this to go over well because its kind of part of this community's culture at this point and I don't think one post is going to change that, but I do still think it needs to be said.
Like ok, bullying grown ass adults with suckass opinions is fine and good sometimes. I get that. [Though I do think "dunks" are overrated, they're cathartic but don't accomplish anything].
But when you use the word "bullying", especially in the past tense like this, it absolutely seems to evoke the idea that "this person should have been traumatized as a child, bullying builds character". Which is like, how is that not an openly reactionary take?
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Trying to decide if this is a battle worth picking, but I think I'm going to go for it. Like honestly maybe it should be its own post or something but whatever.
I see this joke a lot, and I think it's like, really bad. I was bullied as a kid, and it did not make me a better person. All the toxic attitudes that could have made me a right winger, or maybe a shitlib, if I didn't have the right influences at the right time, like 90% of them were defense mechanisms I developed as a result of the trauma of being bullied. Believing I was smarter than anyone else, believing that nerds are an oppressed class, thinking I was destined to be a billionaire like Bill Gates, being told by my mother that my bullies would be pumping my gas someday and believing her, and at least some of why I had toxic attitudes about women (niceguyism was absolutely wrapped up in toxic nerd cultureism). Bullying does an absolute number on a person's psyche, and its extremely rare that it turns out well. Like maybe sometimes it can make a person more empathetic I guess but most of the time you just develop really toxic coping mechanisms that lead to toxic behavior as an adult. You start seeing anyone who criticizes you as a bully, and double down on shitty opinions, shit like that.
Honestly, because of Chapo (and a bit because of my hatred of my past self) I adopted some of this "bullying is good rhetoric" and used it in an argument in a trans discord server I'm in. The admins hammered me for it. I made references to "swirlies" and shit. I did so because the person was absolutely reveling in toxic nerd culture, but it was pointed out to me by the admins that swirlies and other forms of physical bullying are things that like, have actually happened to people. And that shit is traumatic. I didn't take it seriously at first because as much social bullying as I dealt with, I was never physically bullied because I was a tall boy. So I didn't relate to it directly. But yeah, that was a big wakeup call to how toxic that shit is, and I no longer like that Chapo likes to revel in it. I don't expect this to go over well because its kind of part of this community's culture at this point and I don't think one post is going to change that, but I do still think it needs to be said.
Like ok, bullying grown ass adults with suckass opinions is fine and good sometimes. I get that. [Though I do think "dunks" are overrated, they're cathartic but don't accomplish anything].
But when you use the word "bullying", especially in the past tense like this, it absolutely seems to evoke the idea that "this person should have been traumatized as a child, bullying builds character". Which is like, how is that not an openly reactionary take?
Fully agreed, and happy somebody said it.