First of all, you are clearly better than that creep because you had the common decency to avoid making this woman feel uncomfortable. We all - men, women and non-binary people alike - have intrusive thoughts that we would be mortified to acknowledge in public, but the important thing is how you respond to these. Feeling sexually attracted to someone is perfectly normal and doesn't impact that person in any way so long as your words and actions don't cause them discomfort.

Second, I really do think this is somewhat related to your religious upbringing. I know you said that wasn't the case, but hear me out because I experienced the same sort of shame over my sexuality for far too long. The puritanical views on sexuality and the idea that simply thinking of a sin was the same as committing it certainly played their roles, but I think the biggest issue was growing up with the belief that my thoughts weren't private - the belief that there was a watchful observer constantly monitoring me for impure thoughts. Although I didn't realize it at the time, this feeling stayed with me long after I'd given up on religion.

Remember that your thoughts can't hurt anyone but yourself until they turn into actions. I'd also suggest some CBT - for me, a lot of this ties into my OCD and the skills that I learned in therapy have been a huge help. Learning how to observe and accept your thoughts will make a difference!

I hope this is helpful advice. My lunch break is just about over, but I'm happy to talk about this later if you'd like. Feel free to message me anytime.