Sometimes I find a recipe that I think I'll really enjoy but then I'll be too put off by these suburban moms who think that having children and being a military spouse are personality traits. 🤬🤬
pretty sure people do this because they read reviews that are like
"great recipe, very fluff and moist. suggest substituting in two cups coffee instead of water to enhance the chocolate flavour"
and decide that if someone can deviate from the recipe in a good way but call the recipe good, clearly that means their own deviation that went awful wasnt actually their fault but was really all because the recipe is terrible.
"substituted coffee for the water like the other review said, but the coffee grounds have an awful gritty texture! recipe is terrible, not moist at all! one star!"
some of the best/worst experiences with cooking I've had have started by finding an interesting new recipe skimming through the ingredients, then realising that I don't have one of the main ingredients but I've already wedded myself to the idea of making it so I just try and substitute other things in and carry on. Using this method cooking becomes an emotional roller coaster and I usually end up sitting on the kitchen floor wandering why I made all the dumb choices I did while I wait for whatever monstrosity I've made to be finished in the oven / microwave. My greatest creations to date have been the 'Explosive Mug Muffin Fudge'[1] (I accidentally put icing sugar in instead of self-raising flour because I wasn't focusing, which caused the mug muffin to rapidly bubble up and then start popping within the microwave, and basically forming fudge due to the absurdly high sugar levels) and the Zombie Brain Muffins'[2] (me and a friend were going to make some muffins but due to poor coordination we ended up without most of the ingredients so we just cobbled together whatever we could, leading to us making marshmallow and macha muffins which made a mixture that looked like zombie brains), all of the other improvised recipes were awful so I never gave them a name I just try to pretend to myself that they never happened.
Same but sometimes I'm unfortunate enough to catch a glance of what the autobiographical section says on my way down and it's literally always the most vapid bullshit.
but then you end up scrolling into the comments where people who don't know how to cook deviate from the instructions and claim the recipe is bad or endless scrolling ads about celebrity stuff.
Sometimes I find a recipe that I think I'll really enjoy but then I'll be too put off by these suburban moms who think that having children and being a military spouse are personality traits. 🤬🤬
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"Substituted the chicken for oysters and almost died of anaphylaxis, one star because author tried to kill me"
pretty sure people do this because they read reviews that are like
"great recipe, very fluff and moist. suggest substituting in two cups coffee instead of water to enhance the chocolate flavour"
and decide that if someone can deviate from the recipe in a good way but call the recipe good, clearly that means their own deviation that went awful wasnt actually their fault but was really all because the recipe is terrible.
"substituted coffee for the water like the other review said, but the coffee grounds have an awful gritty texture! recipe is terrible, not moist at all! one star!"
:picard:
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you dont just add coffee to things. its a substitution for water thats already in a recipe, because coffee is literally just flavoured water.
you could also steep it in milk or cream, but thats a different conversation
edit: people absolutely do make bad suggestions tho. "this recipe needs three tablespoons of salt, not one half teaspoon!" :virgil-sad:
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yeah but thats boring.
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some of the best/worst experiences with cooking I've had have started by finding an interesting new recipe skimming through the ingredients, then realising that I don't have one of the main ingredients but I've already wedded myself to the idea of making it so I just try and substitute other things in and carry on. Using this method cooking becomes an emotional roller coaster and I usually end up sitting on the kitchen floor wandering why I made all the dumb choices I did while I wait for whatever monstrosity I've made to be finished in the oven / microwave. My greatest creations to date have been the 'Explosive Mug Muffin Fudge'[1] (I accidentally put icing sugar in instead of self-raising flour because I wasn't focusing, which caused the mug muffin to rapidly bubble up and then start popping within the microwave, and basically forming fudge due to the absurdly high sugar levels) and the Zombie Brain Muffins'[2] (me and a friend were going to make some muffins but due to poor coordination we ended up without most of the ingredients so we just cobbled together whatever we could, leading to us making marshmallow and macha muffins which made a mixture that looked like zombie brains), all of the other improvised recipes were awful so I never gave them a name I just try to pretend to myself that they never happened.
TM ↩︎
TM ↩︎
Yeah I make a point not to read it and scroll to the bottom before it even loads fully
Same but sometimes I'm unfortunate enough to catch a glance of what the autobiographical section says on my way down and it's literally always the most vapid bullshit.
but then you end up scrolling into the comments where people who don't know how to cook deviate from the instructions and claim the recipe is bad or endless scrolling ads about celebrity stuff.
but their recipes suuuuck
I tried following one for chicken tikka masala.
So bad. So so so so bad. bland flavorless chicken that had just pointless heat that added nothing.
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Cool story. Show me your penis, you piece of shit.
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