Hey you're alright. I think you're describing basically every person's life - that's part of growing up. We all piss away a ton of opportunities & hindsight highlights them all plain to see. Anyways, going adult is learning from that & recognizing. Plenty more opportunities await you, hell your change in perspective is something many don't ever have in their life. Sounds to me like you're doing great because your mind is changing - your drive is changing and that will hopefully guide you.

Lots of love, you're doing it. Strive to do good & be good, you rule.