creating a massive index of every living thing and resource on the planet (including humans) to be able to create new kinds of assets to artificially keep profits up, etc.

If you're familiar with environmental economics, this is almost certainly a key feature of the "green capitalist" answer to climate change: in order for capitalists to measure the worth of the natural resources and ecosystem services lying at the foundation of the global economy, they have to privatize and commodify every living necessity in order to price in what were previously positive and negative externalities. The good news is this means fossil fuels become prohibitively expensive and we might get some shitty capitalist version of the green new deal; the bad news is it also means all potable water, breathable air, and fertile soil - alongside every other living necessity - will be privatized. Meat (beef especially) will become prohibitively expensive according to the resource inputs required to raise livestock for slaughter - which wouldn't be a problem except rich people will probably just eat more of it than they did before and tell the working class to start eating bugs instead of freeing up land to grow more plant-based proteins.

The capitalist (mis)interpretation of the "tragedy of the commons" is that private ownership of the commons is necessary to avert that tragedy - this solution also conveniently prevents the world rate of profit from collapsing to zero within our lifetimes because commodifying what's left of the commons means expanding markets into unexploited virgin territory. In order to accept Pigovian taxation on corporate carbon emissions, the ruling class will compel all workers to pay a corresponding tax for exhaling carbon dioxide. Forced sterilization or other penalties for having more than one or two children are plausible (imagine the PRC's one-child policy, but much much worse and a thousand percent more racist because capitalist states always manage to do worse versions the most dystopian aspects of China) - the one upside here is we might actually get accessible birth control and abortions everywhere.