I'm somewhere along the femby scale but I'm glad to see this - I pretty often see ironic humor about hating men, even in trans circles, and it disappoints me because I know that although it's not meant to disparage specific people and trans men it often has that effect and people get carried away. Personally I think regardless of one's past experiences with specific guys, it's not cool to blanket guys as a whole as bad. It's also just incorrect to do so. So hey, @ all the wholesome dudes out there, you're valid and cool
I pretty often see ironic humor about hating men, even in trans circles, and it disappoints me because I know that although it’s not meant to disparage specific people and trans men it often has that effect and people get carried away.
If that is the case they can just talk about it to the people around them or learn to adjust to being made fun of once in a while. How many times do jokes about guys being an issue occur in your social circles?
If people on Tumblr or 4chan do it and that debilitates a guy while everyone around them is not expressing those ideas then the solution is to realize web forums are not reality. The only times IRL I have seen complaints on this is from people who would like to be able to make clearly seriously more transgressive jokes about women.
In my case I'm talking about social media and small online communities like discord servers. That's where I've seen that sorta thing happen. It's happened on more than one occasion in places I'm active in. And in this case I'm talking about the fact I've seen people be pushed to leave some communities - not necessarily directly but just because of the prevalence of the (usually specific and recurrent) users who'd go on and on with negative things about men over a period of time. Seeing that has contributed to my stance on this, that: we should be just as against misandry if it comes up as we are against misogyny. Imo, that's more conducive to being genuinely inclusive than just expecting men to 'adjust to being made fun of'.
Imo, that’s more conducive to being genuinely inclusive than just expecting men to ‘adjust to being made fun of’.
I think everyone should adjust to being made fun of. The benefit of physical spaces is that you are forced to put things out in the open when something is too uncomfortable to deal with. If you feel that the discourse in your group is crossing some line (and the group really matters to you) then go ahead. You gotta deal with these things on a case by case basis. In my experience, most things I see online during a standard browsing session are not really "misandry" (unless I specifically go hunting for this shit).
I also am on the camp of not treating online as "real". I certainly find online spaces as more talking to myself than an actual person tbh. If these processes are encouraging people to spend more time logged off I think there is a benefit to all of this. Although my opinion is meaningless ofc, the forces which alienate all of us from each other and going outside are beyond me atm.
I'm somewhere along the femby scale but I'm glad to see this - I pretty often see ironic humor about hating men, even in trans circles, and it disappoints me because I know that although it's not meant to disparage specific people and trans men it often has that effect and people get carried away. Personally I think regardless of one's past experiences with specific guys, it's not cool to blanket guys as a whole as bad. It's also just incorrect to do so. So hey, @ all the wholesome dudes out there, you're valid and cool
If that is the case they can just talk about it to the people around them or learn to adjust to being made fun of once in a while. How many times do jokes about guys being an issue occur in your social circles?
If people on Tumblr or 4chan do it and that debilitates a guy while everyone around them is not expressing those ideas then the solution is to realize web forums are not reality. The only times IRL I have seen complaints on this is from people who would like to be able to make clearly seriously more transgressive jokes about women.
In my case I'm talking about social media and small online communities like discord servers. That's where I've seen that sorta thing happen. It's happened on more than one occasion in places I'm active in. And in this case I'm talking about the fact I've seen people be pushed to leave some communities - not necessarily directly but just because of the prevalence of the (usually specific and recurrent) users who'd go on and on with negative things about men over a period of time. Seeing that has contributed to my stance on this, that: we should be just as against misandry if it comes up as we are against misogyny. Imo, that's more conducive to being genuinely inclusive than just expecting men to 'adjust to being made fun of'.
I think everyone should adjust to being made fun of. The benefit of physical spaces is that you are forced to put things out in the open when something is too uncomfortable to deal with. If you feel that the discourse in your group is crossing some line (and the group really matters to you) then go ahead. You gotta deal with these things on a case by case basis. In my experience, most things I see online during a standard browsing session are not really "misandry" (unless I specifically go hunting for this shit).
I also am on the camp of not treating online as "real". I certainly find online spaces as more talking to myself than an actual person tbh. If these processes are encouraging people to spend more time logged off I think there is a benefit to all of this. Although my opinion is meaningless ofc, the forces which alienate all of us from each other and going outside are beyond me atm.