I was in college when 9/11 happened. A pretty shocking day all around but I had one experience that has stuck with me ever since. Just anecdotal and probably means nothing... but later in the day I went with a friend of mine into town to pick up some t-shirts for a school event. We were talking about it all when my friend said:
"It's kinda weird but, I actually want the death toll to be higher"
For context, to this day my friend is one of the most ethical, good-hearted people I know. He's also fairly non-political and definitely isn't a "death to America" type. What he was telling me was a confession. He knew he wasn't supposed to think like that, but his brain couldn't help it.
And when I think back to the day it happened and shortly after when the death toll numbers were flying around... I feel like a lot of people felt like this but wouldn't dream of verbalizing it. I think A LOT of Americans wanted to see a huge death toll and ultimately were a bit disappointed at the final numbers.
What this says about Americans if true... I don't know. Maybe nothing. But it seems meaningful to me somehow and I've never quite parsed out what that meaning is.
I was in HS and had similar thoughts. Maybe it was the spectacle, excitement of history actually happening, subconscious frustration with the status quo, misguided misanthropy, hatred of Wall Street, etc. So many reasons to cheer for the "event", for it to have meaning, for it to become the catalyst for change in a positive direction.