Also raised a Catholic in religious group homes (essentially orphanages, group foster homes for kids who are never getting fostered) in Australia, and I agree with your entire wall of text and thank you for posting it so I didn't have to post something similar.

I also used to piss off several of the "staff" whose official position to "the children" was babies didn't go to hell until insert catholic goalpost but that whole concept of purgatory as a placeholder until we accept god or whatever, which always led to me arguing that I should remain unbaptized and as ignorant of the churches teachings as possible then until I go to purgatory and don't have to make the decision based on faith. (Not how it "works" but is an incredibly frustrating topic for any Catholics trying to keep things "kid friendly".)

Edit: They really REALLY didn't like you saying that spreading the churches teachings to, for instance, pacific islands people's etc, was (knowing they're imperfect humans) condemning souls to hell when ignorance covered them 100%.