I've been going through a total existential crisis for awhile. I'm terrified of death. Both for myself and my loved ones. And because of this pandemic, every time I feel weird I get a panic attack. I've run through every single religion desperate to find some way to find peace with my mortality, but nothing felt right. Is there any philosophy out there that can help me find peace?
The human condition is to find meaning in a world that is inherently chaotic and devoid of higher purpose. Like Sisyphus rolling a stone up a hill for all eternity, the world is absurd. We are born to die in a way, all you can do is try to make it through the day.
I've stopped thinking about death as end, it's a transition. I wasn't dead before I was alive, I was simply a different vat of chemicals. Someday I will return to that. I don't know if that helps you, but it's how I've made my piece.