Reminds me of how in middle school girls at dances would ask me to dance and I would always assume it was a joke and reject. But my mom was like "it was probably serious the first couple times... then you made it a joke." At my final dance at that school before I was going to move a girl did the bit and I said yes because it was my last dance there and she freaked out and ran away. But my friends were like "hey come on its his last dance here" and she agreed, tehn I put my hands in the wrong place and she ran again, then she came back committed to do it and I was like "naaaaah" at that point because I was to embarassed.
ALSO at the first dance I went to at my NEW school a girl asked, not as a joke, and I just said no because I was used to it, and one of her dude friends came over and was like "what the fuck man you just denied yourself some pussy!". This was eighth grade.
In 7th grade, I decided I had to get over the shyness and ask a girl to dance. But I felt such fear of rejection. Then it dawned on me that it would be REALLY funny if I, one of the 3 tallest guys there, asked the shortest girl there to dance. Not as a way of being mean, but because it would be less awkward if we could approach it with a kind of irony.
She said yes, and everyone who saw us had a bit of a chuckle. But then others started doing it for real, because if we could do it, why couldn't they? That summer I moved to a different part of town and I hardly saw any of them again.
relate to this in a huge way comrade. In my sophomore year of HS my best friend would constantly be saying very obviously romantic things like calling me her soul mate, bae, etc but I always thought she was just being nice. I did eventually realize something was up and I wanted to reciprocate but she moved away. Such is life.
I just wish that gaydar was a thing or homophobia wasn't a thing. The ambiguity of lgbt subtext in conversation is so hard to navigate and it's risky if you're not sure the other person is interested or not.
I'd love to have specific and direct language, but I know it's a big ask outside of dedicated safe spaces.
I feel like all the subtle hints and indirect flirting is just kind of boring and counter-intuitive. If you're into someone just come out and say it. There's so many chances to miss the signals even if both people are NT which can end up in a missed connection. It seems like it's almost a special interest for some NT people and it's totally the opposite for me.
bring back throwing your hat into a lady's window to announce your courtship
One of my two partners just sort of declared us to be dating already once we had been talking for awhile and I was like "oh? ok cool". So that was fun.
