Speaking in the context of satisfying your emotional needs/desires
Getting older and shit; realizing that I life in the suburbs sounds terrifying to me, but it’s what most of the people in my life are working towards
Healing is not my purpose.
Repeat that to yourself and it helps... because it's true.
In that context, do you mean healing yourself or others? Both?
It's nice to hear either way though.
I've been working on my mental health a lot lately and I'm trying to heal from a lot of what happened to me. But there's the weird perfectionism that wants to see me fully healed before I can move on with my life. And maybe I just need to move on with my life. Healing 100% isn't going to happen to me right now, not that I would know what that would look like. And ultimately, that isn't my purpose and maybe it should be at a threshold, like 'healed enough' so I can do whatever my purpose is.
Alternatively, as a leftist, I think a lot about my privilege and my responsibility to make the world a better place. I guess, 'if I have the energy to heal others then I should try'. But that's also not necessarily my purpose. My purpose would be whatever it is I'd have if I thought other people were okay enough.
It's good food for thought
The "weird perfectionism" is real, for everyone nowadays, I feel.
But yeah, good food for thought.
but it’s what most of the people in my life are working towards
There is something seriously wrong with the average person to make them think that living the suburban lifestyle is highly desirable and good.
It’s so sad to me 🥲 suburbs could technically be thriving and communal, but in reality, there are few things more atomizing.
“Just me, my wife and two kids on our own plot of land with a fortress of well-kept grass. Sure there are also other humans down the street, but all I know is that they exist.”
Not at all happy with life. But.
Dwell on the things you do enjoy. Be the person you want to be. My brother loves the city and is happy with rent. I don’t have much of a love for one over the other. But I don’t like the idea of rent forever. So I lean suburb.
Stay in the city if you want.
I like the little things. Sitting calmly and drinking my coffee. Watching the clouds. Watching people do their own little things. I had a hard time accepting that for years because people saw it as simple and lazy. But in the end it’s what I enjoy.
Be yourself. And if you like find others that accept that.
To discover that I was divorced for not “being someone she could retire early with”. My heart was ripped out and dragged along the burning coals. I’m on my way back up. But haven’t come anywhere near the surface yet.
I'll tag on here as well. Microdosing shrooms is incredible if you are anxious and depressed
I really felt like I just worked and sat around.
2 or so years ago I finally got more time in the day, and a better, less stressful job, finally. I have been using a lot of that extra energy to make funny videos on the internet, something I wanted to do since like, 2006. I really couldn't do it when I was stressed out and poor. That's why almost all people who make videos online are pretty comfortable or maybe even loaded before they even start.
I'm not even getting crazy with it or investing a ton of time, not making any money yet, although soon I will be making 3, 4, maybe even 8 cents a month in a few months or so, because I'm at like 9k followers and they give you money after 10k, wowie. I don't think I'll ever make real money on there because there are only a handful of people making real money and they post completely general-appeal videos, I will never do that
It's decently fulfilling. Some of them are actually really funny, a couple serious ones but mostly just fun positive vibes. It's just recreational art that uses some of my strengths, as opposed to like trying to make music or paint or something, which for me particularly, would have required a much bigger time investment before I would be at all proud of it, and I'd probably never like a drawing as much as a funny video tbh
make stuff & give it to people! In my case, funny 3d furry art, but it can be whatever - food, writing, furniture. Just whatever you find you enjoy the process of creating
I want to do mutual aid but the only mutual aid in my area is Christian-based (not Jesus-based)🤮
I can't speak for others and also have definitely not found what I want in life yet. But the tidbit I've found to apply in my life is that being closer to nature always feels better, even though I don't count gardening, walking, eating outside, pickernicking, baking, admiring the rain as my 'hobbies', they're just.. things.. that when I make time to do them, I start to feel more fulfilled in the longer-term.
As I say, I also have no fucking idea what I want in life. But right now what I'm aiming for is more of, and more time for, those kinda things.
Same here, I go outside. I happened to move to a great place to do that, so I try to go all in and do things outside every season. Hiking, biking, birdwatching, snowshoeing, snowboarding, paddleboarding.
I'm not quite there yet, but I'm realizing I can see the steps to get there. Or at least signs that I'm going in the right direction.
1 Some people won't like that or say they don't see what you see. It's okay that they're wrong. You waiting for their approval to live your life will keep you from living your life.
I've had a strained relationship with a parent and reached a point where I knew nothing I did would impress them and I kept myself from doing things for years because I didn't want them to disapprove. I've also had friends who insisted they knew things about me that were untrue. They didn't validate my plans and shot me down when I was excited to do something.
2 You don't need to sit down in a quiet place or have an epiphany to know that you want. You just need to start paying attention to what you've been saying all along.
I started thinking a lot about what I want or who I am as a person and it was only today that I noticed my thoughts enough to realize what I was really saying. You know - conversations you come back to, the foods you always find in your fridge, the songs you don't skip when playing at random. I think I've been telling myself the things I want and that's just listening to myself.
If you're not listening to yourself, ask why. It's my good or bad too not listen to yourself sometimes. But if you have a reason, that can help you understand what things might be important so that you can listen to yourself. Maybe you're not listening to yourself because you're in a bad situation. Or you don't want to make someone upset.
You just have to listen to your inner voice and not compromise on the direction. You will probably have setbacks and compromise on smaller things, but it is possible to get a version of that good life in your head.
For me, I always wanted to settle down with a good, salt of the earth woman and homestead. We wanted a lot more acreage than we could afford, so that was a compromise. We also had to move way outside of the city center we both grew up in, which was a welcome change, since it was getting crazy gentrified and we were getting priced out.
Don't feel like you "should be" further down the road at any given time. However, I was about 25 and didn't have a pot to piss in. I made a goal in my head. I wanted to be standing on my land by the time I was 30. We signed papers for our place just after my 31st birthday. Technically, when we were looking at the place, I was 30, so I'll allow it.
You know how they say "if you can afford rent, you can afford a mortgage"? It's true, it's just hard to get your foot in the door. The good news is, if you're paying rent, you know your financials are mostly where they need to be. Unfortunately, it's almost insurmountable unless you have a partner. I'm not saying shack up with someone or marry someone you're unsure of..
Since then, we have been leaning into homesteading and recycling everything. Making and prepping meals from scratch from basic, staple foods.
I know my path isn't for everyone, but the point is, get a goal, and assess what is in your power right now to get you there. There's no move too little that won't help you out later. Getting on a budget and a sleep schedule is a great step toward well being. Even if your budget is in the red, you will at least get a better grip on where your money is going. A good sleep schedule is so important to well being and your attitude toward getting things done.
Also, cut out as many negative forces in your life as you are comfortable with. Curb drinking and drug use and watch your productivity skyrocket. Cut out shitty people and watch how much less stress you have and how much more free time you have for enriching activities
