It's embarrassing enough I had to call her for help because I couldn't trust myself to make the step, but to be advised to learn to code while I'm in hospital as I'm leaning on her in nothing but a towel is a new level.
Then again this is the same woman I overheard tell the afternoon guy that I'm "a bit useless" when they switched shifts so I shouldn't be surprised.
Give her extra shit to clean out of your bedpan
(note: I don't know how nurses work this probably isn't a thing anymore)