I’m a dude and just starting to realize how much hair care stuff my parents never taught me because I’m a dude and they assumed I’d least have short hair. I’ve been told I have unusually thick hair if that’s relevant. Like what’s the sorta stuff I should learn to do or switch hair products from/to?

Thanks a ton for any advice.

  • SickleRick [he/him]
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    edit-2
    4 years ago

    I've grown mine out over the last two or so years. It's shoulder length now (started at basically a buzz cut). For reference, my hair is straight and moderately thick, so my advice will be directed at someone with hair like mine. My parents never taught me hair care, but my partner has been gracious enough to teach me what they know.

    Buy a brush. I recommend one like this. The flexibility of where the bristles connect to the brush is good for not ripping hair out, while the stiff bristles help for getting through the hair. The ball ends feel nice on my scalp. I brush mine after I get out of the shower, and it keeps it looking nice. A friend of mine doesn't brush his ever (I know because his wife complains about it), and it sort of clumps into locks rather than being free individual strands and looks kinda bad. The key to brushing that no one tells you, and it only matters once it gets pretty long, is to brush in sections. Like, brush the ends, then the middle to the end, and then from the scalp to the end. This helps prevent tangles and get them out when they happen.

    The thread from earlier about shampoo has a lot of useful information in it. I use my partner's shampoo and conditioner, and they have very different hair than I do (extremely curly), but it works well for both of us. I do buy into the buzz about sulfate-free shampoo, as it helped with the dandruff I used to have, but just not shampooing as much did wonders for my hair quality. I use a kind of expensive shampoo (a salon-only brand we buy online), but I only use it every few weeks, so the price isn't so bad over time.

    As far as styling and styling products goes, I'm still figuring that out myself. My work prohibits hair product (specific manufacturing environment), and I haven't really been going anywhere since the pandemic shit began, so I'm just now thinking about it.

    As far as hair ties go: ones like this are pretty good for my hair. They don't tangle, since the elastic is covered by cloth. Scrunchies just slip out, but they're good for curly hair. However, don't put your hair up too tight or too often, as it'll start pulling your hair out at the root, starting at your hairline in the front, and you'll freak out that you're balding even worse than before.

  • drinkinglakewater [he/him]
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    4 years ago
    • Experiment to find a conditioner that works with your hair. Personally I use an extra moisturizing one because my hair dries out easily.
    • Probably cut back on the amount of shampoo you use, it's basically hair soap so if you use too much or too often it dries out your hair.
    • If you get frizz try using hair oil, you ain't gotta be greasy but a little helps keep your hair tame.
    • Don't panic if you feel like you're losing a lot of hair, when you have longer hair you start to notice how much hair you actually shed.
    • The middle stage sucks, figure out how to style your hair until you can rock a bun or whatever.
    • Posadist_Moby_Dick [comrade/them]
      hexagon
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      4 years ago

      Thank you for the hair oil recommendation. I was wondering how I could stop the center frizzing when I tie it back

      • drinkinglakewater [he/him]
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        4 years ago

        Np! Alongside that if you need a stronger hold when tying your hair back try pomade or hair wax, pomade in particular holds shape pretty well, but the downside to those is you gotta wash 'em out.

  • sailorfish [she/her]
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    edit-2
    4 years ago

    Idk about your hair habits but a lot of people with short hair wash their hair every day and that's really not necessary. It might look a little greasy at first while your scalp adjusts but pretty soon it's fine.

    Apart from that, depends on how long "long" is for you! Mastering a few simple buns and braids is fun and there's tons of good YouTube tutorials.

    Oh and the most stable bun for longer (straight) hair is the twist + hairstick one. Very useful to learn because you don't even need a hair tie - just a pencil.

    • PapaEmeritusIII [any]
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      4 years ago

      Dropping a comment to mention that the whole “scalp adjusting to fewer washes” thing does not work for everyone. Sometimes you gotta wash every day and that’s fine. Just make sure you only scrub shampoo into the scalp area; there’s usually no reason to shampoo the rest of your hair.

      • sailorfish [she/her]
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        4 years ago

        True, hair care is very individual! Results in lots of contradicting advice haha

      • Posadist_Moby_Dick [comrade/them]
        hexagon
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        4 years ago

        Dope username! And you’re definitely right about the shampoo, it’s kinda weird like my hair is a wash every day but half as much every other or something

    • Posadist_Moby_Dick [comrade/them]
      hexagon
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      4 years ago

      I’ll definitely look that one up, my work is pretty physical so I’ve been trying to find a way to keep it out of the way

      • sailorfish [she/her]
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        edit-2
        4 years ago

        Okay for the life of me I can't find the exact way I learned to do the bun I mean on youtube like a decade ago haha. But if you look for hairstick tutorials, there's a bunch of different ideas, depending on length, thickness, etc of hair. Imo they're all still more convenient than messing around with pins. Example, example with shorter hair

  • Nakoichi [they/them]
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    edit-2
    4 years ago

    Don't use a brush unless your hair is really straight/fine, conditioner is your friend, if you have curls use your fingers in the shower to detangle and prevent dreading.

    Also, if you have curly/fluffy hair it's going to take awhile before it gets enough weight to actually lay down. Before that point embrace the fro.

    Beyond that I'd need more specifics.

    • VHS [he/him]
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      4 years ago

      more frequently because it will cause split ends to attach 2 each other

      just learned this the hard way lol

    • mayo_cider [he/him]
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      4 years ago

      Brushing is good advice, if you have straight hair. If it's more wavy or curly, just detangle them with your fingers in the shower. Also, get hair clips, you won't be able to tie your hair for a while and it will get on your face.

      • Lord_ofThe_FLIES [he/him]
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        4 years ago

        I have slightly curly hair and brush them, but only when they're wet just after washing them

        • mayo_cider [he/him]
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          4 years ago

          I used to do that, too, but I noticed that when I just let them dry without brushing, they curl a lot more. Before with brushing it would curl only on the ends (obviously this depends if you want the curls .

    • Posadist_Moby_Dick [comrade/them]
      hexagon
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      4 years ago

      Is there hair dye that doesn’t damage the hair or is that just a thing I’ll have to accept? I’ve always been tempted but got scared off a bit.

  • Fartbutt420 [he/him]
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    edit-2
    4 years ago

    As someone with also unusually thick (white guy) hair who's grown it out over the past year (started with an undercut, now it's just past my ears), I'll add:

    Styling products you're just gonna have to experiment with. Your barber/stylist is probably the best person to ask if you're after a particular look. When my hair was shorter I used pomades, but those are way too heavy for longer hair. Now I just use Booster Cream once or twice a week, which is normcore as fuck - it's basically a lanolin cream that smooths everything out and gives a bit of texture, but still keeps things on the slicker side. Works for me and YMMV - it's cheap as hell though.

    I'd also recommend getting a trim at some point down the line to reshape it and keep you looking fly during the intermediate period. I got a cut around the 8 month mark when it started to look weird growing out, and now it looks better for it.

    Also stop shampooing so much.

    • Posadist_Moby_Dick [comrade/them]
      hexagon
      ·
      4 years ago

      Thanks! Past the ears was definitely a milestone I felt happy about. The next one I’m looking forwards to is being able to tie it back better because it’s like barely there and makes it difficult.

  • SerLava [he/him]
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    edit-2
    4 years ago

    Get several thin breathable headbands.

    As your hair grows out it's going to be completely covering your face and getting in your eyes, and you won't always want to wear a whole hat. Especially when your hair is damp - it'll take forever to fully dry. A hat will feel awful, while a thin fabric headband will let the water evaporate.

    The headbands are also good for wearing under headphones, and if you have covid masks that go over the head instead of around the ear, it will be easier to take those on and off. You won't have to take your hat off, put the mask on, get your hair back in one place, and put the hat back on.

    For me the headband looked terrible at first, because eyeball-length hair will want to stand up and look stupid. I wore hats to go outside.

    Eventually it'll get longer and look good in the headband if you put it on right.

    Then after that you'll be able to tie it. That will take longer than you think, because some strands of hair won't be long enough to reach a hair tie, and will flop around and look stupid.