Some of mine:
WHO THE FUCK PEELS POTATOES I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU
WHO THE FUCK RINSES DISHES BEFORE PUTTING THEM IN THE DISHWASHER I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU
WHO THE FUCK KEEPS RETAIL STORES THAT SELL ONLY GOURMET DOG FOOD IN BUSINESS I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU
My friend's grandma peels her mushrooms, which is way worse than me peeling a russet potato