Some of mine:
WHO THE FUCK PEELS POTATOES I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU
WHO THE FUCK RINSES DISHES BEFORE PUTTING THEM IN THE DISHWASHER I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU
WHO THE FUCK KEEPS RETAIL STORES THAT SELL ONLY GOURMET DOG FOOD IN BUSINESS I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU
OKAY THAT'S FINE. I GIVE EM A GOOD SCRUBBING BUT IF I SEE A DARK SPOT OR SOMETHING ILL CUT IT OUT