I can't think of a better way to describe it. For example. I have a stupid little picross app on my phone. I swear it has just the right sounds and mental input to keep me glued to it. I know I got other things to do. I know I need to put it down. One more puzzle is fine tho, right...? I mean it's only 3-5 minutes...and poof it's been an hour....well, it's already been an hour so one more is fine, right?
:this-is-fine:
I am asking here cuz I don't wanna hear about "well just put your phone down!" or "willpower!" or even "lazy!!!". I physically am sitting there thinking ok after this one I put the phone down and then I push the next button without even noticing I did it. It's even worse if I'm stressed or 'procrastinating' cuz the list is too long. So please, gently, without reminding me that I'm a lazy asshat who just needs to learn to adult, help me out here...
You need to practice stopping doing the thing that you would otherwise continue to do. There's really no way around that.
There are however, a lot of things you can do to help you do that. Schedules can be very helpful, there are tools that will limit your ability to continue using apps or social media or whatever in accordance with that schedule. What I've found very helpful for myself is to have specific environments, objects, or other markers that are specifically associated with completing the tasks I need to do. This could be a work desk, or a thinking cap, or making a cup of tea immediately before you sit down to work. Ultimately what we're doing is trying to form stronger neural pathways, manifested in habits, for getting essential tasks done.
It's very hard to break a developed neural pathway that's paired with a chemical reward trickle, like playing a simple game or scrolling the internet, but by the same token, every time you manage to break that pattern of behavior is very powerful in altering your general behavior. For an example, in smoking cessation one of the best things you can do is not have a cigarette in exactly the circumstances where you always have a cigarette. It's tough, but planning and executing an intentional break of following those pathways and the associated behaviors does a lot to help.
So really, what we have to do is attack this from both ends. We do have to intentionally stop the behavior at the point of wanting to engage in it, but we also have to build a structure that enables that and have a clear picture of what that will look like and how we can reinforce the behavior we want while providing anchors for the new pathways we want to grow.
Also, you may want to get evaluated for adhd and explore medication as a supplement if you have not already.
Oh, I have the ADD. I have the ADD meds. Problem is I have a tiny dose of the ADD meds because 30ish years of masking makes my shrink not believe I need a higher dose of said meds. I have tried, but every time I say anything, since I am still functioning I'm just fine. Of course I'm functioning goddamn it. I'm a 40ish year old adult with a job and kids and I have no CHOICE but to function. But, it would be really nice to be able to do something BESIDES function once in a while...you know, plan something and not forget, or schedule self-care without losing track of time and not doing other important things, or play a video game for a short bit as a break without forgetting to get back to real life, or go to bed when I said I was going to instead of three hours later or.....