I agree with you. But it's tough. I've gone to years of counseling and always open my sessions with "my productivity." If I'm being productive I'm happy, if I'm not, I'm unhappy. Is my happiness pathologically tied to a sense of productivity? Or am I unhappy because I feel my mind and body atrophying when I open Chapo.chat for the 10th time in an hour?

Lately I have taken personal issue with my own anti-work sentiments, because the alternative to working (shitposting & OCCASIONALLY some Marxist theory) honestly makes me feel terrible. And my job doesn't even suck that bad or anything, I'm just getting started in a career I had great privilege in choosing. I read something on here once that said "leftistm needs its own rise-and-grind culture" and I just can't help but agree. Combatting laziness with "don't worry it's capitalism" just leads to more laziness, less discipline, which for me leads to depression. Again, have I just pathologically bought into rise-and-grind sense of worth, without the capability for actually rising and grinding??

Sorry to spew this on here, I feel relatively happy these days but clearly I need to go back to counseling lmao. Either that or a prole revolution, I'll take whichever comes first.

EDIT: Feel like I need to add this - I am not speaking for my disabled or neurodivergent comrades. The question becomes entirely different when you factor in comrades who face debilitating factors out of their control. Which I guess applies to me, to the extent that my depression makes it difficult to focus - but I can't say that it's fully out of my control either, there are steps I know I can take that make me more disciplined, happy and productive. I see many comrades on here completely lack that sense of control, and something other than "rise and grind" is clearly needed there. If disabled or neurodivergent comrades could fill the holes in my take that'd be appreciated <3