I have a crush on a woman who works at the Chinese restaurant in my town. She's older than me and I think she's beautiful and really my type. I feel like a creepy incel who's obsessed with asian women. I promise you I'm not, I like all women, really.
I feel like this too. So I while back helped my older nephew enroll in the local high school. After a few days of paper work and stuff finally got him in and went to see about getting him a computer. We went to the library and the librarian turned out to be a teacher I had a huge crush on in eleventh grade. She looked amazing like she hadn't aged a day to me, admittedly got the rose tinted glasses so.... I had her class like back in 2010.
Anyway we never got my nephew his books but he says he doesn't need them. I kind of want to go back but mostly to see her again but I can't force my nephew around on my behalf. Even then I'm like you were I'm to shy to say anything. She wasn't Asian but a white women, married to boot and with 3 kids.
Feel weird saying all this but wanted you to know you aren't alone. I know it's not gonna go anywhere but idk I feel something. A longing or calling to see her again. I need to do something with these feelings but not something that bothers her you know? I've heard the term sublimation where artists take their feelings and put them out there in the form of art and thinking of trying that.
Gonna get odd but I feel like I'm vibing with her on a deep level or at least something unexamined is going on on my end. Writing about it now helped at least.
Realizing this whole post of mine might have been off topic because you're more worried with being racist I think but gonna put the wall of text anyway.
Nope you're good and thanks for sharing!