Thoughts on this? Reading this it feels almost like seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. For years I projected a lot of this discourse onto myself, possibly as a way to mask over my own gender identity issues.
I held back every response I could think of because I didn't feel like I could convince someone I was bringing it forward in good faith. But if we bring up our trans comrades in the context of this dialogue I feel like we could really be taken seriously. Like it opens up so many opportunities for solidarity.
What am I missing here? What do you folks think?
Woah, are you me? I'm just a trans woman, but I had exactly all the same experiences you were talking about. I never was able to confront my own negative self perceptions until I transitioned, but even now I have difficulties viewing my own capacity for love as okay and not just a gross animalistic urge. I have been dating my girlfriend for an extremely long time and I still ask if it's okay when I touch her. I'm glad I've been a socialist for so long and during my formentative years, but one thing is that seeing the abuses men can do and seeing other socialists talk about men the way that's easiest just made me very self conscious about my masculinity even before I realized I was trans.
Wow, that's pretty stunning to hear. Thankfully I started to slowly raise my self esteem, especially thanks to therapy, but coming to terms with my gender definitely feels like the final puzzle piece I needed to put myself out there and date other women with confidence.
I will say though, as a guy I have had one sexual experience with a woman (this was post-therapy) and I was able to ask for consent to touch her, etc. without feeling any shame! Somehow I was able to turn around my negative feelings into positive ones. Like it's totally normal to feel attracted to someone, and it's obviously a good thing to ask for consent (communication, yay). Plus, asking for consent puts me back in control too: it doesn't feel like I'm giving in to some kind of objectifying urge if I'm literally showing restraint by asking first. Maybe that's a useful perspective? Idk.
Yeah haha I get exactly what you mean, asking for consent (even at the worst times) helps me feel comfortable and lets me just have fun, but it's still a weird brain worm I have generally.