My younger sister is 18, but still in high school and lives with my mother. She'll be normal for months but then, seemingly out of nowhere, she'll start abusing my family (mostly my mother) by screaming and cursing at her, threatening to kill herself and writing a suicide note saying she did it to punish my mother and post it online, punching herself and pulling her hair, threatening to move out, etc. This is the kind of stuff you would expect people who are actually abused to do, but I know for a fact that she isn't abused by my parents because I lived with her for most of my life and she would do the same shit to me when she didn't get her way with something stupid like I wouldn't drive her to her friend's house. She's obviously has mental issues but we don't even know what to do at this point.
This is the kind of stuff you would expect people who are actually abused to do, but I know for a fact that she isn’t abused by my parents because I lived with her for most of my life and she would do the same shit to me when she didn’t get her way with something stupid like I wouldn’t drive her to her friend’s house.
Preface not a professional or aught, but look up borderline personality disorder. I've done quite a bit of reading on it recently. CW on the things that might accompany that: Quick synopsis would be: it very often accompanies child abuse but not always, it can still occur in loving and non-threatening households, it's marked primarily by an intense and unabating emotional dysregulation - basically too much feeling (sometimes good, mostly bad) in the wrong proportion. Self-harm and suicidal ideation and successful completion of suicide are marked. People with BPD are often thought (possibly harmfully) by the public at large to be emotionally manipulative. BPD sufferers can enact something termed "splitting", moving from complete idealization to complete devaluation of another. Significant increases in aggression or impulsiveness. Marked fear of rejection or abandonment, etc. etc.
But regardless of whatever it is that is absolutely something that needs to be treated by mental health professionals, ideally the sooner the better, because whatever the cause is, those behaviors are severe and point to something significant.
My mother told me everything in the OP but my sister says that she's exaggerating and that my mom is trying to push her away, but she also says our mom smothers her and I don't believe my sister at all because I've seen her act this way multiple times, some of which was directed at me.
She wants to punish us for not giving her what she wants, really.
The thing that started this incident was that she was screaming at her boyfriend over the phone the past two days because he didn't tell her happy Valentine's day and my mom went into her room to tell her that it's time to calm down.
She wants us to let her scream at her phone forever I guess, it's always dumb shit like driving her around or something
There was one time I was picking her up from somewhere and she said something about how people her age who listen to Tupac only like him to look cool, and I was like "why would they pretend to like Tupac to look cool when they can just say they like something basic like Drake? Why can't they just like Tupac's music because they like it?" And she threatened to grab my steering wheel and crash the car because I said Drake was basic.
Therapy now or she'll eventually resort to actually self destructive behavior.
She will try this with someone who doesn't know her and care about her. And the consequences could be pretty terrible.
Well I know she abuses me and threatens me with violence so from my perspective she's the abuser