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Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime, that's why I rub one out on company time.
I make a penny, boss makes a buck, so I crank my hog in the company truck.
Oh, you were on the clock? At work? I'll let you off with a warning this time.
Sir,
At approximately 1531 our masturbation sensor emitted a warning for positive masturbation activity in stall 7-331. Your ID badge was detected in this area during this time and the toilet, upon investigation, tested positive for your DNA during a routine semen examination. We have automatically scheduled a meeting with your supervisor for tomorrow morning at 8am to discuss the matter further.
- Management
Making my best "weirded out" face so people know the sign isn't about me