Even other neurodivergent people will enable behaviors that trigger RSD, maybe because it doesn't hurt them as bad, or they've learned to cope with it better, or whatever. But anyway, we aren't approaching the problem of RSD radically enough. We have to change the way we communicate with people on a fundamental level. Anti-ableism isnt just about not using certain naughty words. For neurodivergent people to be safe in society, it requires a completely radical rewiring of how communication works. I don't know how that will work exactly. I understand that sometimes it causes problems with intersectionality (though I think the way people just throw the anti-ableism side of that discussion out the window completely is fucking disgusting, again this is something that even neurodivergent people will do, because intersection is complicated and people don't like complicated things so they jump to one side or the other and for some reason ableism always loses out in those clashses) but I still think its incredibly important.

  • autismdragon [he/him, they/them]
    ·
    3 years ago

    This was a very very honest retelling of what happened. I don't know how I could have been more fair.

    I don't see how this is going both ways at all. I feel like its all on me to change when I read what people are saying on there.

    ETA: one person literally said the worst assimilationist take that people with RSD should have therapy instead of expecting accommodating behaviors.

    ETA2: What made you come over here anyway? Now I feel like someone linked this post on there to mock me. Just like I was scared of. Just like my post saying I didn't even feel safe in the ND comm anymore because of people on the discord judging me from there.

    ETA3: Maybe you're right. Maybe this is unfair. Maybe I'm not being equitable. I dont know what to do. I haven't felt this much constant RSD in so long. Its hitting me so hard and I can't think straight. This whole mess has me so mixed up and scared. I don't know what to do.

    • emily [she/her,they/them]
      ·
      3 years ago

      First things first, I was scrolling through chacha and saw the post. I didn't see what community it was in, which is my bad, and I didn't mean to overstep.

      I just feel like this whole situation is taking a mental and emotional toll on both sides and wanted to point that out. I don't like seeing people say negative things about my friends. And I recognize that your perspective is yours and valid, but I was hoping by now the anxiety of it had come down a bit where I could point that out. I promise it was in completely good faith.

      • autismdragon [he/him, they/them]
        ·
        3 years ago

        OK. I can understand that. Sorry for assuming the worst. But trying to rejoin the server and seeing that someone had mentioned this thread in there really shook me. So I was already paranoid.

        The anxiety has not worn off for me. I am still extremely shaken by this whole thing and don't know what to do.

        • emily [she/her,they/them]
          ·
          3 years ago

          Oh I'm sorry to hear that. I didn't realize someone had mentioned it in the server, and if I see it again I'll try my best to shut that down immediately. Gossip doesn't do anyone any favors. Anything I can do to help?

          • autismdragon [he/him, they/them]
            ·
            3 years ago

            I appreciate that so much! No I don't think there's anything you can do to help but I appreciate the thought. I'm just going to take some time off. Like, weeks off. Before I even think of going back.

        • SpookyVanguard64 [he/him]M
          ·
          3 years ago

          The anxiety has not worn off for me. I am still extremely shaken by this whole thing and don’t know what to do.

          I know I already said this in another comment, but while therapy can't prevent RSD, it is good for helping to get over it faster and get your emotional state back under control. Obviously it's up to you what you want to do, but if you have the time and/or money and/or motivation I would recommend seeking therapy to help on this. Something else I've also already mention that could help: disengage for a while. From personal experience I know it's much easier said than done, and I often get hyper-focused on things that trigger RSD for me, but continuing to engage with something that's triggering RSD for you is going to prevent you from being able to reign in you emotional state and think clearly. And lastly, just to be clear in my intentions and hopefully avoid any potential miscommunications or misunderstandings, I'm not trying to attack you or anything like that.