Original rant: https://youtu.be/n9zICf5UH-E?t=1320Blaire White: "We can work together to build a conservative coalition in America"Lauren Witzke: "I want you...
Building up enough self esteem to stop relying on that for validation is difficult and takes a long time, especially because just staying in that cycle fucks up your self esteem further.
Don't want to make assumptions about anybody's experience, so @zukostan98 please correct me if this isn't the same thing, but what you said reminded me of a conversation I had with a gay friend about imposter syndrome. We both felt like we weren't smart enough to be in our fields, so we specifically sought out approval of the assholes who are most notorious for ripping students to shreds, because praise only felt "real" if it came from somebody who's skeptical of everything. (Mostly, this is just a great way to get ripped to shreds yourself, which obviously doesn't help you feel good enough.) He told me that his 4chan stage, and attempts to be friends with the shittiest, most homophobic bro dudes when he first came out came from a similar sense of needing to clear the "highest" bar to prove to himself that he wasn't the awful stereotype of a gay man he had in his head. I can't imagine how hard it would be for Blaire or Milo or somebody like that to escape that way of thinking, now that they've built a whole public persona and income around it.
Glad you've gotten yourself out if that rut. :transshork-happy:
I can see how it happens but I am always shocked at how long some people stay in there. I suppose it's easy to hate the world if you hate yourself.
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Building up enough self esteem to stop relying on that for validation is difficult and takes a long time, especially because just staying in that cycle fucks up your self esteem further.
Don't want to make assumptions about anybody's experience, so @zukostan98 please correct me if this isn't the same thing, but what you said reminded me of a conversation I had with a gay friend about imposter syndrome. We both felt like we weren't smart enough to be in our fields, so we specifically sought out approval of the assholes who are most notorious for ripping students to shreds, because praise only felt "real" if it came from somebody who's skeptical of everything. (Mostly, this is just a great way to get ripped to shreds yourself, which obviously doesn't help you feel good enough.) He told me that his 4chan stage, and attempts to be friends with the shittiest, most homophobic bro dudes when he first came out came from a similar sense of needing to clear the "highest" bar to prove to himself that he wasn't the awful stereotype of a gay man he had in his head. I can't imagine how hard it would be for Blaire or Milo or somebody like that to escape that way of thinking, now that they've built a whole public persona and income around it.