Pretty much everyone figures out how to actually socialize, maintain relationships, have new relationships, improve them, and date at high school, MAYBE college at the latest. I'm 30, almost 31. Did I miss the boat on learning that and having a semblance of happiness in my life, and there's no going back.
I've tried it all. I've tried social hobbies, I've tried going out, I've tried putting myself out there. The basics of social skills elude me. I am, at best, a filler friend. I can't see myself being any more than that, and I think it's too late for me to get better.
I think I doomed myself to a life of loneliness, all because of the bad choices I made. The only possible hope I can have is maybe reincarnation is real and I can suck less in the next life.
Nah, you didn't miss the boat. Or, you can still catch it anyways. I was agoraphobic for most of my 20s, was pretty bad socially before that too. I didn't figure out any of that stuff when I was young either. But I'm figuring it out now. I'm 33, went on my first date earlier this year, now have two great poly relationships (plus casual dates with other people), lots of friends, etc. My social life is pretty great. I even learned how to small talk decently well. It isn't easy, but it's possible! You can do it!
I will say that the majority of my friends and people I date are also queer ND people, it's so much easier to connect with other ND people.
how did you meet those people?
how did you get a social life and learn to small talk?
Basically dating apps for all of that. I learned to small talk and make good conversation through practice, just talking to a million people on apps and then meeting some of them. And the people I date and my friends are either people I met on the apps, or people I met through those people. I had up to 8 of them installed at one point (I've cut back now) and spent a couple hours a day on them.
This is some validation for my short-term lifeplan and I'm glad you took the time to write it.