Ironically this would get you permanently banned on reddit.

Most of the fast food places near me also clearly have fans pushing the smell of the food out their window, you can smell it from 20+ feet away. If you've had a long day, you're tired and hungry and suddenly you smell something super tasty and there's a nice, pleasant looking fast food restaurant that can satisfy that itch in a matter of minutes, it's not hard to see how that can be super tempting to a lot of people.

wow DHS really thinks that shitlibs on twitter are anarchists

I believe they are mostly anarchists. The music is instrumental, but the art work, song titles and spoken word passages have a very obvious anti-imperialist and anti-capitalist message. Their last album had these "demands" in the liner notes:

• an end to foreign invasion

• an end to borders

• the total dismantling of the prison–industrial complex

• healthcare, housing, food and water acknowledged as an inalienable human right

• the expert fuckers who broke this world never get to speak again

There are vocals in one of the GY!BE side projects, Silver Mount Zion, where the politics are much more obvious and transparent. They're worth checking out too IMO though the vocalist (Efrim) is an acquired taste.

Some leftist and leftist-ish artists off the top of my head:

Refused

Dead Kennedys

Crass

Chumbawamba (yes, that band)

Discharge

Parquet Courts

Idles

The Coup

Gang of Four

CCCP Fedeli alla Linea

Minutemen

Propagandhi

Billy Bragg

Phil Ochs

Reagan Youth

Godspeed You! Black Emperor

Thee Silver Mount Zion

Rudimentary Peni

Panopticon

I already have some computer skills, I'll try to brainstorm some ideas about fake companies/websites I could make and "jobs" I can have. It sounds like a lot of work though, I'd have to make fake social media profiles, fake linkedin profiles, etc. Did you find that you had to put in a lot of work to make your company look real or was it just enough to have a website and maybe a defunct twitter account or something?

Do people do reference checks via email these days? I could probably even register a cheap domain for a fake company and use that if I was gonna go that route.

I appreciate all the advice people have given me. I've read every post here even if I haven't replied.

Among some of the other things people have suggested, I'm thinking of lying about building/troubleshooting PCs independently and being an event photographer. I think the latter would be the easiest to argue was no longer doable under covid and I have some knowledge of both things. I just don't know if I need to create some sort of online presence for both of those or how I would provide references. Do ya'll think those are good ideas?

I'm also thinking of making up a story about my grandmother being ill (she was actually quite ill) and looking after her, but maybe that'll sound weird? Do younger people look after their grandparents? Maybe I should make it about my parents instead...

Then maybe I can pick a place I have "worked" that's out of city/province or even in a different country - this one I'm going to need to do a bit of research on. Maybe a stupid question, but can employers look up your work history with a social insurance number? I know they can look up your criminal history and shit, don't know if they'll see my credit (it's bad) or history with disability services, etc.

I also took longer to long to finish a 4 year program at college because I was in a disability program that let me do half the course load. Should I lie and condense this into two years?

Oh damn, I wouldn't even know where to start to make a RoE type document from another country.

Do temp agencies care about gaps in your resume?

I have tried this and it never worked. I think this makes employers think your hiding something.

That long term plan sounds like a great idea but also kind of complicated. Should I look at other, existing companies to use as a template or is there some kinda guide out there? Also don't know how I'll explain what I did as "project manager."

Very good advice though thanks!

What's the worst thing that could happen if you're discovered lying about your job history though? I mean obviously you don't get the job, but I'm guessing you could get blacklisted in that industry if people know each other.

Good luck comrade. I hope you've gotten some good tips from this thread.

How much effort did you have to put into making a fake company? Did you make the company relevant to the type of work you were looking for? I have an feeling that people in my field would recognize a fake company, so maybe I should do something more tangentially related.

Same here... makes me wish I was in a place to do some sort of co-op or something while I was in school. It's a real catch-22, need experience to get a job but can't get a job to get that experience.

I've never heard of a work certificate, is it just a plain text document or something more fancy?

In my experience this makes you an easy pass for employers. Officially, it'll be something else on your resume that made you unsuitable because they can't legally deny you employment on that basis but to them, it's about how profitable you are and illnesses aren't profitable.

Landlords are the same. I was on disability a few years ago and the amount of landlords who demanded that I disclose my illness/passed when I told them how I would be paying my rent was absurd. Legally that's 100% illegal but basically impossible to actually prove or find someone who cares.

I don't have moral qualms about lying to employers, I just feel like I'll be bad at lying or mess up in some way and I'm not entirely sure I can find multiple people to lie for references.

Given that you know each other already, I would be careful to not get your signals crossed, e.g. if you're not explicit about your meet up being a "date," your friend might not know that a one-on-one park hangout has a romantic undertone. I think I agree with ScreamoBMO. Being up front and honest is probably your best bet, but try to do it in a way that allows you to maintain your friendship if she doesn't reciprocate your feelings.