this time of year is fucking hardcore when you're trying to stay sober, it's like the universe is saying "oooh, why not? gooo on, it's christmas!"

david pakman looks like the puppet from interpol's evil video

thank you.

trying to build good habits by doing a bit of uni work everyday, rather than leaving it all until the night before and wanting to cut all my limbs off, but i've been staying up later and later doing work that now i've developed a bad habit.

give me a silver lining and i'll find you a cloud.

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if all you ever post is cringe then the cringe flags just look like flags.

when you take the hair away from the head, it makes it very obvious he's wearing a golden retriever fur based wig.

how long will he keep up this lie?

i'm a veteran comedy writer for tv shows such as "have i got news for you" and "spitting image" and regularly feature on radio 4 news based comedy panel shows. you're welcome.

China seeks super soldiers like those in such films as "Captain America."

can't stop at stealing trade secrets, they have to steal the country's cultural heritage. china really is the worst.

free hong kong.

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90% of the time i see the word "interlocutor" used online, it's being said by an absolute knob.

i hate the way people that think like that always paint you as being naive for disagreeing with them.

also, what a sad way to live.

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as far as i can tell, it's a version of this song by sekret from this covers album by leningrad.

why didn't the eagles just pick us up in the beginning, then we could've dropped that nasty cheeto into mordor straight away?

I think you don't understand what the role of the vice president is.

it's so dumb that if you put enough steps in the way, people just stop thinking you're guilty.

like, bureaucracy is just a rube goldberg machine for killing people. no, i didn't press the button that fired those missiles, but i did coincidentally just turn on this fan, that may have pushed a ball, that may have toppled a domino, but really who knows.

buttery smooth. big fan of your musical side project, lightning bolt, too.

my father fought in korea but not for socialism, he backhanded a waiter after getting frustrated that speaking english louder and louder wasn't working.

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how come reformists never get tired of constantly having to patch up the same holes over and over? just get on a different boat, lads.