Despite that, I feel like vomiting all those sad emotions has made me find some joy again. Things are very difficult in my relationship because being trans will end it, but I have more support now than I ever have! I guess I just need to decide whether I'm "trans enough" for transitioning to be worth it
Been away a while. Things are not going very well for me, sadly. Pride festivals were not what I had hoped they would be community-wise and my relationship is increasingly strained.
I'm not really able to see a happy future for myself at this point.
Hope everyone else is having a great pride month! You have so much to be proud of, being your authentic self
This is my first pride, and I'm so excited! I tried to join last year before I knew I was not cishet but got rained out on the only event I could attend.
In other news, ordered bras to try :) I'm extremely excited 🥰
In a weird state where I keep thinking maybe I'm not trans and then literally just seeing a girl in the mirror lol. Is this acceptance? Where I'm not even thinking about it actively anymore, I just see the me I want to?
Having some good days here and there where I feel like I look like Aphrodite herself. Then other days...
cw: mental health, dysphoria
I get gender envy from statues lol. Still grappling with the fact that this is all happening to me. I got so used to the constant dissociation and derealization that I was completely disconnected from my mental health. I always had some level of dysphoria, but I could push it aside.
It's overwhelming. Trying to find local queer support groups and other ways to connect with trans people around me, but I have had no luck so far.
Love you all. Hope your weekend is wonderful like you
I'm feeling this a lot too right now 💜 For me it is linked to depression as well. Sometimes I don't feel like putting in the work to see myself in the mirror, even though I know it would make me happier
Vacillating between loving that I'm trans and hating that I'm trans. I've been keeping it close to my chest because it feels like uncertainty, but my wife called me out yesterday saying that it sounds like I already know and just don't want to accept it.
Looking for in person support groups to feel like I belong somewhere again.
Hoping for a time where I can love myself finally 💜
I love the rant, thank you for taking the time to write it all out 💜 Yeah, the main reason for Lexapro over Zoloft is the potential for sexual dysfunction.
Not to spill my guts too much but that is very important to me right now, and since I'm not medically transitioning at the moment, I'm not at risk of losing function otherwise. Thankfully I have a very proactive psychiatrist :) I appreciate the well wishes! Thank you so much 💖
So sorry to hear that :( it's not helped by there being some seriously stressful things happening in my life, so there are real feelings of panic alongside these phantom instances.
Started an antidepressant a couple weeks ago, and it's at a low enough dose it does not help me at all, but the side effects have been so nasty. Constant dissociation. I looked in the mirror the other night and had extreme facial dysphoria. It felt like I was looking at a demon :(
I think the side effects have actually made me even more stressed too. I'm frequently feeling the beginning stages of panic attacks. Not fun :/
On a more positive note, loving my new dresses, and I have a couple extremely supportive friends who make me feel very loved 💜 Things will get better :)
Been crying soooooooo much more lately
Despite that, I feel like vomiting all those sad emotions has made me find some joy again. Things are very difficult in my relationship because being trans will end it, but I have more support now than I ever have! I guess I just need to decide whether I'm "trans enough" for transitioning to be worth it