Hope it was a great week everyone. Hopefully this one is even better. cat-trans

  • catter [she/her, they/them]
    ·
    6 months ago
    cw: mental health, dysphoria

    Started an antidepressant a couple weeks ago, and it's at a low enough dose it does not help me at all, but the side effects have been so nasty. Constant dissociation. I looked in the mirror the other night and had extreme facial dysphoria. It felt like I was looking at a demon :(

    I think the side effects have actually made me even more stressed too. I'm frequently feeling the beginning stages of panic attacks. Not fun :/

    On a more positive note, loving my new dresses, and I have a couple extremely supportive friends who make me feel very loved 💜 Things will get better :)

    • Jenniferrr [she/her, comrade/them]
      ·
      6 months ago

      Oof I feel that on the "Beginning stages of a panic attack all the time". It sucks so hard. I've had some relief from it but it's back now and I've been dealing with it for almost 3 months

      • catter [she/her, they/them]
        ·
        6 months ago

        So sorry to hear that :( it's not helped by there being some seriously stressful things happening in my life, so there are real feelings of panic alongside these phantom instances.

        I hope you can get some relief from it again cat-trans

    • LeylaLove [she/her, love/loves]M
      ·
      6 months ago

      Don't be too disuaded, psych meds just really range like that between people. My anti-psychotic is my saving grace, but I've heard just as many nightmare stories from the meds I take. What anti-depressant are you on currently?

      I'm glad you have some supportive friends!

      • catter [she/her, they/them]
        ·
        6 months ago

        Lexapro. It's the first one I'm trying, so hopefully there's a better option or this just a temporary effect :)

        I've noticed things feel so much slower now. I always had a lot of anxiety, and I'm wondering if it actually is doing something there.

        Thank you for the encouragement cat-trans

        • LeylaLove [she/her, love/loves]M
          ·
          6 months ago

          It definitely could be helping, you'll have to sit through it to see if it really helps or not, but don't be afraid to ask for a different anti-depressant at your next appointment! If you're still struggling with side effects 2 months later (assuming you have bimonthly or similar schedule for psych visits) then you probably need a new SSRI. Any major side effects other than sexual dysfunction should be gone within a few months of being used to the drug if it's the right one for you. Might I recommend Zoloft or Wellbutrin? Zoloft is known for having less side effects than most SSRIs. Wellbutrin is also a good anti-depressant with even less side effects than Zoloft, but isn't an SSRI so doesn't work well enough for some people. Don't be afraid to ask about specific meds from research you do either. As long as you aren't asking for adderall, benzos, or opiates, your doctor will likely be receptive. If you have family members on meds, it's worth asking them what works as a base. Sorry for the rant, I hope lexapro goes better for you, but if it doesn't it isn't the end of the world!

          meow-hug

          • catter [she/her, they/them]
            ·
            6 months ago

            I love the rant, thank you for taking the time to write it all out 💜 Yeah, the main reason for Lexapro over Zoloft is the potential for sexual dysfunction.

            Not to spill my guts too much but that is very important to me right now, and since I'm not medically transitioning at the moment, I'm not at risk of losing function otherwise. Thankfully I have a very proactive psychiatrist :) I appreciate the well wishes! Thank you so much 💖