Wearing a Chaos Zweihander feels a bit like compensation.

More of a Str build in the streets /Dex build in the sheets kinda person.

Will you at least take off the Mask of the Child?

Puked a little in my mouth. Thanks

First off: Congratulations on getting diagnosed. It's a huge step and 18 is a really nice timing. Untreated ADHD in adults can be really crippling, because all the supporting structures like school and family break away and suddenly you realize that managing your own time schedule and house hold is really fucking hard. So good job 👍

Second: You took 30 mg of Elvanse/LDX for the first time and you felt nothing? That's... impressive, honestly. Methylphenidate Non Responder are fairly known, but usually that amount of dexamphetamine does something to the human body. From your age I'd guess you are not a regular user of recreational amphetamines and have built a massive tolerance...

I also started with 30 mg Elvanse and was pretty seriously zoned in, deep focus, elevated mood, highly awake, loss of appetite and a very revelatory feeling, that I could finally tackle all the bullshit that I had avoided, delayed, ignored and forgotten. For me, the 30 mg were honestly too much. Over the last year I've built a tolerance and am now taking 40-70mg daily, depending on the challenges of the day.

Still I wouldn't worry. No effect also means no bad side effects. Adjusting the dosage is entirely normal in the beginning and something your psychiatrist should do anyway. The therapeutic dosage goes up to 70 mg and there are edge cases with even higher doses. There is also methylphenidate (Ritalin, MPH, etc) and Atomotexetin. But for now, just stick with what you got.

Dealing with ADHD is a marathon, not a sprint. You've just started, so take the days as they come and trust your feelings above all else. If it works, you'll know. And if not keep at it.

Also check out /c/neurodiverse, there are a lot of good posts and ADHD experiences shared.

I was working on a cool and powerful punch to launch my enemies of a stage so they could explode in a fiery column, only to reappear on a floating platform above me, unharmed.

Any tips on a good name?

We had a bright orange magic box that was connected to a beige windows 95 box that you were never allowed to turn off because nobody knew if it would survive a reboot and there was no software for the orange box for a more modern setup. Almost felt an like arcane ritual, typing in the command lines to get it to work.

Hell yeah. *vanse / Lisdexamphetmine / LDX was also my ADHD awakening. Congratulations on the laundry, it is truly a menace to society and the disordered mind.

How did I spend more than 30 years of my life not feeling like this? How many opportunities did I lose, how many things did I abandon because I felt like I wasn't capable of doing them, not because of my lack of competence, but rather because there was an invisible wall of inability between me and even the simplest task? I now realize how much of a fucking legit disability ADHD is.

It is a deeply sad revelation, that frequently stirs enormous regret and anger deep in me. The only real consolation is, that you could have gone another year, another decade or the rest of your life without knowing. But now you know and you must look ahead.

I'm afraid that this effect may only be an initial honeymoon phase and I'll eventually go back to how I was before.

There is an initial honeymoon phase, but that can last quite a few weeks, depending on how you are responding and how you adjust your dosage. There are also some annoying side effects that most people experience and there will be other challenges to overcome. But don't worry about it. If you respond to it well, the stuff likely keeps working. It's just not gonna be revelatory "the first day of the rest of my life" but a more balanced "this is day 258 of the rest of my life, but i like this life much much better". So enjoy the ride and then get to work.

I can be better. There is hope.

Have you tried volleyball? Its extremely fun and being tall helps a lot.

Punctuality. Putting things away after using them. Remembering where I put my phone after putting it down in front of me one second ago. Calling you on your birthday. Opening my Mail and responding to it.

Took me 25 years to recognize I had ADHD.

On a lighter note: Chess. Hate that fucking game. Makes me feel stupid everytime I look at a board. Everything is fine and suddenly your queen is hanging and your opponent gives you a smug look, as in "did you really miss that?".

"I thought Christmas comes only once a year..."

BOND TRUMPETS - fade to credits

Brilliant screenwriting.

The old batch was stored in a broken fridge and the person responsible only noticed after a week and told nobody.

Just one more linking of the fire bro, this time it will last really long bro. The golden order, giants, royalty of anor londo, dragons, great lords will make it right this time, bro.

Extremely punchable. Very nice.

GeForce 3 Ti 200.

Combined with a athlon xp 1800+ and blistering 512 MB DDR Ram I was simply TEARING through Warcraft 3 and Half Life. Thanks mom.

Hey, I am driving here!

Also, the technical limitations and specifications of each console gave the games a distinct look. You can tell a SNES from a Genesis game, a PS1 from a N64. Even just game ports had their own charme, differing sometimes less, sometimes wildly between each console.

It all converged in the PS2 era and now it's just differently branded PCs.

Of course. He's not genetically evil. Essentialism is bad. He grew up in the most cold hearted, disgusting, bourgeois circumstances at the heart of capital and just kept going with it.

It's in fact another damning argument against capitalism and patriarchy. It produces evil in people as a byproduct.

That's great. We could make it our ironic mascot and name it hogshittestes.

Tomb Raider 1 was my absolutely fav game on the PS1 back in the day, I was so good at it too, did speedruns and everything.

That's wild and I'm curious what captured you. Even in 1997 I found tomb raider 1+2 to be almost unplayable. The controls are some of the worst I've ever seen and Lara plays like a stiff puppet. I've looked into the remake and I struggled to get past the first two levels. Trying to jump across certain gaps is just destillated frustration. Mario 64 came out the same year and after 5 minutes of running around in front of the castle, it instantly made Tomb Raider (and any other 3D movement before it) look ancient.

I genuinely believe Tomb Raider only became a success because of the sexualized "mature" design and marketing. It does some atmosphere right and being proper 3d at all at that time made it stand out, but with a character design that's not pure gamer brain or just the generic John McShoot it would have been all but forgotten.