6 Ugly Facts Of Life In Communist Cuba | Cracked.com
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We spoke to those who lived under Fidel Castro's rule. Here's what we learned.

Yes, it's an interview with a gusano. Yes, his family were business owners. Here's the peach:

"One day, my sister came home and exclaimed, 'Fidel is better than Jesus!' In school they had asked the kindergartners to close their eyes and pray to Jesus for ice cream. When they opened their eyes -- nothing. Then they closed their eyes again and prayed to Fidel for ice cream, and ... surprise! Ice cream cups on their desks! I remember my mother's reaction: 'Helado! Que rico!' She totally avoided any other comment for fear of whatever she said making it back to my sister's teacher."

  • Awoo [she/her]
    ·
    2 years ago

    Fidel is better than Jesus

    :yes-comm:

    • buh [she/her]
      ·
      2 years ago

      I fw Jesus but if he was truly the goat he would have seduced pontius pilate like Fidel did to one of his assassins instead of just dying

      • D61 [any]
        ·
        2 years ago

        :jesus-cleanse:

        That's right Pontius, you wash those hands. You wash them niiiice and slow.

    • poppy_apocalypse [he/him, any]
      ·
      2 years ago

      “Let the one whom has no sword sell his cloak and buy one,” I love Fidel as much as the next person, but Jesus was kind of based as well

      • ssjmarx [he/him]
        ·
        2 years ago

        Jesus' message is filtered to us through 2,000 years of being coopted by the Romans, British, Americans and others, but he was based in his day.

      • Civility [none/use name]
        ·
        2 years ago

        I feel that this is a misinterpretation.

        The gospels, even more so the Gospel of Luke, where (I think?) that's from very much portray Jesus as a pacifist, even within the the context of that passage.

        The very next line from the Gospel of Luke Chapter 22 verse 36 is

        For I say to you that this which is written must still be accomplished in Me: ‘And He was numbered with the transgressors.’ For the things concerning Me have an end.” So they said, “Lord, look, here are two swords.” And He said to them, “It is enough.”

        The usual interpretation of that passage, is that Jesus had His followers buy swords so that surrender would have meaning, and not simply be because they were incapable of fighting, or to fulfill the prophecy of Isaiah that he would be treated as the head of a band of brigands.

        It was in no way a general call for Christians to arm themselves.

        When, in the same chapter of the Gospel of Luke one of his followers did draw his sword at the arrest, and cut the ear of one of the pharisees, Jesus rebuked His follower and healed the man he'd attacked.

        When Jesus' followers saw what was going to happen, they said, "Lord, should we strike with our swords?" And one of them struck the servant of the high priest, cutting off his right ear. But Jesus answered, "No more of this!" And he touched the man's ear and healed him

        --Gospel of Luke Chapter 22 Verse 49.

        • poppy_apocalypse [he/him, any]
          ·
          2 years ago

          You should change your sn to context :hasan-smash: ha ha, jk. I don't really know much about the gospels, I just thought it was some cold-blooded shit to say to a motherfucker before I popped a cap in his ass.