• @WithoutFurtherBelay
    hexbear
    12
    edit-2
    5 months ago

    isn’t it kind of weird how like, trans men seem to have to transmit how much they just want to be normal to be validated?

    Practically every post or meme I’ve seen retweeted or mentioned in reference to trans men is always talking about how cool it is they want to look like a “regular dude”, not even interrogating how like… we’re just reinforcing stereotypes of what a “regular dude” is all over again by doing so

    where are the posts talking about how trans men who do want to look fruity or “weird” are still men?

    All the posts and memes that exist making fun of theoretical “bishonen transition goals” trans men make me super uncomfortable, they have the same energy as people complaining about catgirls in transfem communities. I only saw it once, to be fair, but it was using it as an insult at detransitioners, which feels super super invalidating to anyone who doesn’t want to detransition but has a “bishonen” transition goal. I’m not transmasc, I’m… transfem? Ish? But it just feels familiarly uncomfortable to me

    Edit: of course the people who constantly treat trans men as “softbois” are… much worse in every way, so I understand pushing back against that as a stereotype/invalidating thing, but I thought it was worth mentioning and it reminds me of how feminine gay men are treated with distaste by some gay men, because they supposedly play into stereotypes

    • HumanBehaviorByBjork [any, undecided]
      hexbear
      13
      5 months ago

      downbear

      this is just "trans people are reifying gender stereotypes" again. also idk if you are on tumblr or have heard of tumblr but "feminine trans men who don't want to get surgery or dress any differently are still men" is a common (correct) take. I think reading posts like this as "complaining" about someone else's transition is not accurate. If anything, the object of critique here is not "queerer" transmasculine presentation (I would not actually ever call Tom Holland a femme), but rather the overwhelming cultural predisposition in trans and cis discourses to favor youth and beauty.

      • machiabelly [she/her]
        hexbear
        10
        5 months ago

        "masculine twink" is the standard normative transition goal for transmascs. This post absolutely pushes back against that by saying that I don't have to look young, thin, or boyishly handsome to feel valid. "I want to look like the people that I look up to in my community" is an ideal fucking transition goal. People like this make for the happiest trans folks.

    • Cromalin [she/her]
      hexagon
      M
      hexbear
      8
      edit-2
      5 months ago

      that makes sense to me. i do think this tiktok is kind of a seperate thing, given he's not presenting his goals in contrast to men who present femme or weird, but tom holland who i feel is also a very normal guy? but i do think it's important to keep in mind and interrogatethis sort of thing, and obviously any appeals to what is normal are inherently fraught, but i think this tiktok in specific manages to avoid the big pitfalls with these things

      and i agree there should be more posts celebrating all flavors of transness, especially the weirder and more flamboyant ones that receive more pushback from cisnormative society

      • @WithoutFurtherBelay
        hexbear
        8
        5 months ago

        I agree yeah, this is just some dude sharing their transition goals, that’s an awesome thing.

        and i agree there should be more posts celebrating all flavors of transness, especially the weirder and more flamboyant ones that receive more pushback from cisnormative society

        Yeah I guess that’s all it comes down to trans-undertale