I'm back in university and I feel even more socially numb than ever. I have a lot of intrusive thoughts about mental health and shit. I'm never going to open up about it all to any counselers because my parents drilled into me not to talk to any mental health ppl or doctors or else they'll "lock me up" again and throw away the key while they'll have to pay and suffer (I was hospitalized once in HS due to similar feelings). It surfaced when one of my profs was like "you should talk to someone if you feel anxious" during their syllabus lecture and I just felt like complete shit.
I've never seen any other ppl in my family actually deal with their mental health in the ways that I read about. It's more respected in muslim families to shut up and keep all the emotional shit within the family and within yourself than it is to do therapy. I used to do therapy (weekly 1 hr sesh) but all my relatives would give me shit for it so I stopped.
Idk i think most of this is just I can't even envision a life as a happy queer south asian man without feeling like im a pervert violating male bodies (go figure). Like i literally look at my skin color and do a inner racism. Instead of admitting this to anyone I'll just scroll on this stupid ass site and stress read theory and pretend im more clever than all those mental health professionals. Im also a spanish major which is just ripe for major imposter syndrome as I take classes with people who are about to graduate and I feel constantly inadequete with my abilities.
It sucks literally not being able to articulate my queerness inside and outside of my family. I hold so many reactionary brainworms about mental health even though I should be a "progressive"
I could find clubs which is probably the best thing I could do for myself. Yeah I'll leave it at that.
Being queer and brown is the worst shit ever
Winter is fun, it actually isn't as cold right now as it used to be back in the fall. I still hate walking in snow because half the time it's actually ice and you're now about to fall.
depends on what youre interested in. Local comic shops host dnd games that often need members, and MTG. theres local theater everywhere. team sports are a great option like roller derby, and there are lots of queer friendly sports teams with chill environments.
right sorry adhd got the better of me, um i think for vido games online spaces are gonna be the best. for borad games i would again go with you local commic book store. and book clubs.. hmm, my best book clubs are always at socialist orgs lol, maybe your local library or bookstore? also facebook and insta suck but i hav found many great groups and events on both of them. sorry with i had more ideas.
So I'm not poc but I search the site for game stuff ( ) and I strongly recommend Pathfinder 2e. It is way more queer and leftist than other ttrpgs and the source material has amazing queer and poc rep. They just released an adventure path set in fantasy China and includes Chinese mythological creatures and is written in a traditional Chinese play's style in four acts. Whole book was written only by Chinese creators, most of whom were in China proper. Plus it's the only unionized ttrpg.
I learn so much shit from their mythology stuff, it's so cool. Strength of Thousands is basically Hogwarts in fantasy Timbuktu without racism and transphobia attachments and similarly included African creators and folk tales. Their next book (war of the immortals) will be exploring Polynesian and Native American oral tradition and mythical creatures, and that's being spearheaded by one of the directors at paizo who is an indigenous Alaskan two spirit person iirc.
Oh and there is a fantasy Africa god whose edicts include violently killing settlers and her sacred animal is a panther. And there is a god of communism (Milani)
Sounds nice! I've played both Pathfinder video games by Owlcat Games. Pathfinder: Wrath of the Righteous is my favorite CRPG ever on top of it all. I really should play Pathfinder 2e, but I don't know who to play it with. Is the community surrounding the TTRPG any good? Hopefully, most of the fans are at least alright.
"Plus it's the only unionized ttrpg."
I was aware of this, at the very least. I kept up with news surrounding it. I've kept up with much of the labor movement since 2020 (when it really kicked into high gear). I really should get the books right now to support them.
hey your comment is very nice and relevant so I will leave it up, but if you comment in a poc only thread again I will ban you from the comm permanently.
Rant incoming(CW: Internalized homophobia, islamophobia, mental health)
cw
I'm back in university and I feel even more socially numb than ever. I have a lot of intrusive thoughts about mental health and shit. I'm never going to open up about it all to any counselers because my parents drilled into me not to talk to any mental health ppl or doctors or else they'll "lock me up" again and throw away the key while they'll have to pay and suffer (I was hospitalized once in HS due to similar feelings). It surfaced when one of my profs was like "you should talk to someone if you feel anxious" during their syllabus lecture and I just felt like complete shit.
I've never seen any other ppl in my family actually deal with their mental health in the ways that I read about. It's more respected in muslim families to shut up and keep all the emotional shit within the family and within yourself than it is to do therapy. I used to do therapy (weekly 1 hr sesh) but all my relatives would give me shit for it so I stopped.
Idk i think most of this is just I can't even envision a life as a happy queer south asian man without feeling like im a pervert violating male bodies (go figure). Like i literally look at my skin color and do a inner racism. Instead of admitting this to anyone I'll just scroll on this stupid ass site and stress read theory and pretend im more clever than all those mental health professionals. Im also a spanish major which is just ripe for major imposter syndrome as I take classes with people who are about to graduate and I feel constantly inadequete with my abilities.
It sucks literally not being able to articulate my queerness inside and outside of my family. I hold so many reactionary brainworms about mental health even though I should be a "progressive"
I could find clubs which is probably the best thing I could do for myself. Yeah I'll leave it at that.
Being queer and brown is the worst shit ever
Winter is fun, it actually isn't as cold right now as it used to be back in the fall. I still hate walking in snow because half the time it's actually ice and you're now about to fall.
clubs were my lifeline in college. you can always vent here at least. yeah i dont get snow, so its just too cold to swim and no upside.
I'm trying to do meet-ups through meetup.com and stuff.
Are there any other way to find clubs and meet-ups IRL?
depends on what youre interested in. Local comic shops host dnd games that often need members, and MTG. theres local theater everywhere. team sports are a great option like roller derby, and there are lots of queer friendly sports teams with chill environments.
Oh nice, thanks for the suggestions.
I'm looking for board games and TTRPGs.
Book clubs too.
Video game groups too.
Still waiting for your response to the above. @Othello@hexbear.net
I could really use some advice here.
right sorry adhd got the better of me, um i think for vido games online spaces are gonna be the best. for borad games i would again go with you local commic book store. and book clubs.. hmm, my best book clubs are always at socialist orgs lol, maybe your local library or bookstore? also facebook and insta suck but i hav found many great groups and events on both of them. sorry with i had more ideas.
Luckily, I got my Facebook account back and I've been using my Instagram a lot more lately so that should work.
Thanks!
So I'm not poc but I search the site for game stuff (
) and I strongly recommend Pathfinder 2e. It is way more queer and leftist than other ttrpgs and the source material has amazing queer and poc rep. They just released an adventure path set in fantasy China and includes Chinese mythological creatures and is written in a traditional Chinese play's style in four acts. Whole book was written only by Chinese creators, most of whom were in China proper. Plus it's the only unionized ttrpg.
I learn so much shit from their mythology stuff, it's so cool. Strength of Thousands is basically Hogwarts in fantasy Timbuktu without racism and transphobia attachments and similarly included African creators and folk tales. Their next book (war of the immortals) will be exploring Polynesian and Native American oral tradition and mythical creatures, and that's being spearheaded by one of the directors at paizo who is an indigenous Alaskan two spirit person iirc.
Oh and there is a fantasy Africa god whose edicts include violently killing settlers and her sacred animal is a panther. And there is a god of communism (Milani)
Ok nerd talk over I'll stfu now
Sounds nice! I've played both Pathfinder video games by Owlcat Games. Pathfinder: Wrath of the Righteous is my favorite CRPG ever on top of it all. I really should play Pathfinder 2e, but I don't know who to play it with. Is the community surrounding the TTRPG any good? Hopefully, most of the fans are at least alright.
"Plus it's the only unionized ttrpg."
I was aware of this, at the very least. I kept up with news surrounding it. I've kept up with much of the labor movement since 2020 (when it really kicked into high gear). I really should get the books right now to support them.
hey your comment is very nice and relevant so I will leave it up, but if you comment in a poc only thread again I will ban you from the comm permanently.