What helped me a lot was asking myself if I actually wanted to be a cis man. It is from a blogpost called "The Null hypotecis", or so. It's sadly been taken down, but an archive version(that I also don't have) exists, so maybe someone else could link it.
I personally never felt, or feel, comfortable in shorts at all, and still also like wearing my male clothes. I was however always very particular about my hair.
You could start with setting everything up, researching doctors and acces to hormones, to wherever you want to go, and prepare whatever documents could be needed. And start learning haircare and grow it out(if you want to ofc). Stuff like that, or voice training, that mostly needs time and effort, and it's very affirming.
I really should start looking into that, since I am starting to feel like I might want that. I'm already growing it out a little bit and like it more then when it was cut short (this last time getting it cut felt really bad). and yes, voice training... I need to do that.
Is it this one? https://freethoughtblogs.com/nataliereed/2012/04/17/the-null-hypothecis/
edit I started reading the above
It’s probably just a kink, a sex thing
It’s just my asberger’s
What’s interesting, and where this again, for me, sheds a lot of light on the amazingly strange ways that belief and doubt operate in the human mind, on what beautifully irrational little things we are, and feels like an important touchstone for skeptics to explore, is that a lot of this irrational denial can itself be framed as the due, logical level of skepticism that such a drastic decision demands.
After all, surely if we’re going to risk so much, put so much at stake, in such a monumental “decision”, we should approach it carefully, and make sure to be certain, right? Shouldn’t we be looking for proof that we’re trans before gambling our whole lives on that being the case?
This whole idea that your subjective identity can’t be legitimate unless you’re somehow able to back it up with objective evidence is a pretty awful situation to be put in, especially when you’re inflicting it on yourself, given how any “proof” of being trans is entirely dependent on subjective experience. What proves that you’re trans is only to understand yourself as trans. When dealing with gatekeepers and family and the numerous external forces that would deny us our identities, it’s not such a crippling situation, because at least we know, and we are the proof, and beyond that it’s simply a matter of figuring out what they think would count as “proof” and what exactly they need to see or hear to believe you (if anything). But when imposing this situation on yourself, when the only possible actual certainty is in accepting and understanding yourself as trans, but you refuse to accept and understand yourself as such until you have that certainty… you’ve created an impossible situation for yourself.
Cool! It's still up, great to know. I love that essay.
Well, maybe… if proof of being trans was even really something possible, beyond the simple proof of subjectively experiencing your identity and gender as such. But more importantly: we never ask ourselves for “proof” that we’re cis.
Cis is treated as the null hypothesis. It doesn’t require any evidence. It’s just the assumed given. All suspects are presumed cisgender until proven guilty of transsexuality in a court of painful self-exploration. But this isn’t a viable, logical, “skeptical” way to approach the situation. In fact it’s not a case of a hypothesis being weighed against a null hypothesis (like “there’s a flying teapot orbiting the Earth” vs. “there is no flying teapot orbiting the Earth”), it is simply two competing hypotheses. Two hypotheses that should be held to equal standards and their likelihood weighed against one another.
What helped me a lot was asking myself if I actually wanted to be a cis man. It is from a blogpost called "The Null hypotecis", or so. It's sadly been taken down, but an archive version(that I also don't have) exists, so maybe someone else could link it.
I personally never felt, or feel, comfortable in shorts at all, and still also like wearing my male clothes. I was however always very particular about my hair.
My gut immediately said no. I suppose that could be interpreted as being a sign I'm trans
Kinda sounds that way
You can stop being a man if you want to, it's a choice.
big sigh I can't right now, in this moment. I would like to start moving away from it though.
You could start with setting everything up, researching doctors and acces to hormones, to wherever you want to go, and prepare whatever documents could be needed. And start learning haircare and grow it out(if you want to ofc). Stuff like that, or voice training, that mostly needs time and effort, and it's very affirming.
I really should start looking into that, since I am starting to feel like I might want that. I'm already growing it out a little bit and like it more then when it was cut short (this last time getting it cut felt really bad). and yes, voice training... I need to do that.
Voice training is fun, if you like playing with your voice. It's not as bad (for me) as everyone has been saying.
Yes! I personally loved voice training. It was a part of my transition that I felt I had control over.
Voice training gives me so much agency. I wish I could remove facial hair by practicing a lot.
Is it this one? https://freethoughtblogs.com/nataliereed/2012/04/17/the-null-hypothecis/
edit I started reading the above
That last part I highlighted is very interesting.
Cool! It's still up, great to know. I love that essay.