Call me authoritarian for this, but this is what happens when we respect everyone's opinions instead of shaming and belittling those who are proudly stupid, dogmatic, and cruel. The Reddit atheists were on to something.
First step in that is to stop teaching kids that everyone's opinions are valid.
Sorry, but if you think global warming isn't real, the earth is flat, or pineapple is an acceptable pizza topping, you should be mocked and shunned from society.
I was originally gonna say something about outdoor cats but I didn't want to have an actual struggle session. Being called a Redditor is the lesser of those two evils.
Teach kids the difference between opinions and facts backed by scientific proof, opinions are like "we should go buy groceries and eat food at home instead of outside today" and not "I have no degree or formal education in anything related to medicine, vax is bad"
pineapple is an acceptable pizza topping, you should be mocked and shunned from society.
Americans will wash their food down with straight corn syrup but cry if some fruit touches their savory dinner treats.
The correct answer to "will adding cooked pineapple to this dish improve it?" is always "yes, that will always improve everything whether it's a burger or curry or pizza or soup or rice."
The problem with the so-called "Hawaiian" Pizza is that there's no attempt to balance flavors. It's just sour and (sometimes) sweet pineapple tossed thoughtlessly onto a ham pizza. Pineapple goes great in a lot of things - curries, sweet and sour pork, etc., but most of those dishes are thoughtfully balanced so that there are no overwhelming flavors.
"Hawaiian pizza" is mid because of the ham, and also because it's usually like unripe frozen or canned pineapple. What you want are slices of fresh pineapple on a pepperoni pizza with onions and chopped garlic. Oh, and fresh basil leaves underneath the cheese and pepperoni to protect them from the heat - the onions and pineapple on the other hand go on the very top so they get the most intense heat.
Let me also throw out there: pickled jalapeño and pineapple along with whatever else you like. Salt, sweet, heat, little bit of acid. It's good, folks. You can go fresh jalapeño if you'd rather a bit of freshness over more salt.
I prefer habeneros or brazilian starfish peppers (those in particular are great - I grew some one year and they were basically the perfect pepper to slice up and add to a pizza) myself. I really need to start growing hot peppers again.
The correct answer to "will adding cooked pineapple to this dish improve it?" is always "yes, that will always improve everything whether it's a burger or curry or pizza or soup or rice."
Pineapple covers two (sweet and acid) of the four major flavor-carrying categories (sweet, acid, salt, and fat) and cooks up to have nearly as much of a sort of substantialness as cooked tofu or meat does. These characteristics make it mesh neatly into basically any dish and allow it to serve the same role as a wide range of other ingredients as long as one's cognizant of what it's adding and what the substituted ingredient would have added.
Pineapple is a great pizza topping and haters don't understand the value of adding tartness to a rich dish. Mfs never balance a dish with acid or honey and it shows. It's no less a proper pizza than stuffed crust abominations.
Pineapple is a terrible topping on pizza because hot fruit is terrible on my tongue and in my tummy. Using a sauce concentrate thinned with pineapple juice or making the sauce with some pineapple juice mixed in gives you the good flavor without the terrible texture
Replying again, I don't think a pizza should be a rich dish, and also the fewer the toppings the better.
You just need dough, sauce, cheese, basil.
Nothing to overpower the flavour of the bread, which is in and of itself an ingredient with its own texture and flavour, not simply a device to deliver toppings into your mouth. The sourdough, proven for a decade or more, taking on the smokiness of the wood burning in the oven as it cooks. The texture of being crisp on the outside but al dente in the middle, the unpredictable flames of the oven charring, but not outright burning certain spots of dough.
Raw San Marzano plum tomatoes, pureed with olive oil, salt and a clove of garlic. No need to add sugar to overcome the taste of being packaged and canned, these are vine ripened. You can still taste the umami and acidity of the tomatoes, even as it cooks, slowly absorbing into the dough below.
The fresh, mild buffalo mozzarella, free to melt without being coated in anti-caking agents pre-shredded cheese is caked in. Chunks, torn or sliced, placed sporadically on the pizza, not even trying to cover every square centimeter. Balancing out the acidity of the tomatoes
Leaves of basil, placed on top, adding colour contrast and a subtle sweetness.
Show
You take a bite, and your worries for the day drift away. The bustle of the restaurant, of the alley, of the street, melt away into a murmur. This is good. Today is good. But a thought nags at you. Why is this not your default association with pizza? And why does that fact subconsciously make you sad?
You come to the realization that once again, it has been the cold, bony fingers of capital. You're sad because you realize it's the same enshitification making everything worse today.
The bread, expertly made with aged starters, chewy and firm in perfect amounts, cheapened to thin, unproven dough cut costs.
The woodfire oven, scent of home and hearth, replaced with conveyor belts to increase output.
The tomatoes, now canned and preserved, artificially sweetened to mask the taste of metal.
The cheese, now mass produced and lacking age, requiring twice as much to get the same amount of flavour, turning a dish of very little oil to a greasy oily mess.
This masterpiece of aroma, texture and flavour is now unhealthy, soulless and worse yet, bland. No wonder why people sought out more and more toppings. And then the arms race began of the most attention grabbing toppings to boost sales culminated in a tropical fruit being used as a topping. This became the tipping point. People subconsciously knew the idea was ridiculous, and yet they couldn't articulate how or why. Is it because it's a fruit? Well, tomato is already a fruit. Is it because it's sweet? Well there are dessert pizzas. Is it because of the texture? Maybe, but that shouldn't cause that visceral of a reaction.
It's because it's strayed too far from what it's meant to be. Whether or not it tastes good, at a certain point, is no longer relevant. It's simply strayed too far from what it was.
I'm not sure if sushi made with quinoa instead of rice and southern BBQ pulled pork for a filling would taste good or bad, probably good. But at that stage is it still sushi? How many ingredients can you add to a Caesar salad before it stops being a Caesar salad? To a grilled cheese? To an egg fried rice?
I love pineapple on pizza and after the revolution ™️ pineapple pizza will be the official dish of the USSA. Required to be patriotically served in grade schools and work cafeterias every Friday
Yeah but so were the people who presumed they were saving random people from going to hell, so it was a good counterbalance. I don't think all people can be reasoned with, some people have to be cowed by getting "owned" to refrain from loudly espousing a toxic belief, so Reddit atheists' smugness and vitriol was a good way to shame annoying religious people out of proselytizing too much.
Call me authoritarian for this, but this is what happens when we respect everyone's opinions instead of shaming and belittling those who are proudly stupid, dogmatic, and cruel. The Reddit atheists were on to something.
First step in that is to stop teaching kids that everyone's opinions are valid.
Sorry, but if you think global warming isn't real, the earth is flat, or pineapple is an acceptable pizza topping, you should be mocked and shunned from society.
Wow so funny and original. It's almost like I'm back on reddit.
I was originally gonna say something about outdoor cats but I didn't want to have an actual struggle session. Being called a Redditor is the lesser of those two evils.
Teach kids the difference between opinions and facts backed by scientific proof, opinions are like "we should go buy groceries and eat food at home instead of outside today" and not "I have no degree or formal education in anything related to medicine, vax is bad"
And if an adult replies "appeal to authority" you hit them with a stick named "authority" until they appeal for it to stop.
Americans will wash their food down with straight corn syrup but cry if some fruit touches their savory dinner treats.
The correct answer to "will adding cooked pineapple to this dish improve it?" is always "yes, that will always improve everything whether it's a burger or curry or pizza or soup or rice."
The problem with the so-called "Hawaiian" Pizza is that there's no attempt to balance flavors. It's just sour and (sometimes) sweet pineapple tossed thoughtlessly onto a ham pizza. Pineapple goes great in a lot of things - curries, sweet and sour pork, etc., but most of those dishes are thoughtfully balanced so that there are no overwhelming flavors.
"Hawaiian pizza" is mid because of the ham, and also because it's usually like unripe frozen or canned pineapple. What you want are slices of fresh pineapple on a pepperoni pizza with onions and chopped garlic. Oh, and fresh basil leaves underneath the cheese and pepperoni to protect them from the heat - the onions and pineapple on the other hand go on the very top so they get the most intense heat.
Let me also throw out there: pickled jalapeño and pineapple along with whatever else you like. Salt, sweet, heat, little bit of acid. It's good, folks. You can go fresh jalapeño if you'd rather a bit of freshness over more salt.
I prefer habeneros or brazilian starfish peppers (those in particular are great - I grew some one year and they were basically the perfect pepper to slice up and add to a pizza) myself. I really need to start growing hot peppers again.
Pineapple covers two (sweet and acid) of the four major flavor-carrying categories (sweet, acid, salt, and fat) and cooks up to have nearly as much of a sort of substantialness as cooked tofu or meat does. These characteristics make it mesh neatly into basically any dish and allow it to serve the same role as a wide range of other ingredients as long as one's cognizant of what it's adding and what the substituted ingredient would have added.
This is just pure idealism tbh, completely undialectical thinking.
spoiler
I'm just messing with you it's just that I don't really like sweetness in my salty/savory foods.
deleted by creator
Pineapple is a great pizza topping and haters don't understand the value of adding tartness to a rich dish. Mfs never balance a dish with acid or honey and it shows. It's no less a proper pizza than stuffed crust abominations.
Pineapple is a terrible topping on pizza because hot fruit is terrible on my tongue and in my tummy. Using a sauce concentrate thinned with pineapple juice or making the sauce with some pineapple juice mixed in gives you the good flavor without the terrible texture
Replying again, I don't think a pizza should be a rich dish, and also the fewer the toppings the better.
You just need dough, sauce, cheese, basil.
Nothing to overpower the flavour of the bread, which is in and of itself an ingredient with its own texture and flavour, not simply a device to deliver toppings into your mouth. The sourdough, proven for a decade or more, taking on the smokiness of the wood burning in the oven as it cooks. The texture of being crisp on the outside but al dente in the middle, the unpredictable flames of the oven charring, but not outright burning certain spots of dough.
Raw San Marzano plum tomatoes, pureed with olive oil, salt and a clove of garlic. No need to add sugar to overcome the taste of being packaged and canned, these are vine ripened. You can still taste the umami and acidity of the tomatoes, even as it cooks, slowly absorbing into the dough below.
The fresh, mild buffalo mozzarella, free to melt without being coated in anti-caking agents pre-shredded cheese is caked in. Chunks, torn or sliced, placed sporadically on the pizza, not even trying to cover every square centimeter. Balancing out the acidity of the tomatoes
Leaves of basil, placed on top, adding colour contrast and a subtle sweetness.
You take a bite, and your worries for the day drift away. The bustle of the restaurant, of the alley, of the street, melt away into a murmur. This is good. Today is good. But a thought nags at you. Why is this not your default association with pizza? And why does that fact subconsciously make you sad?
You come to the realization that once again, it has been the cold, bony fingers of capital. You're sad because you realize it's the same enshitification making everything worse today.
The bread, expertly made with aged starters, chewy and firm in perfect amounts, cheapened to thin, unproven dough cut costs.
The woodfire oven, scent of home and hearth, replaced with conveyor belts to increase output.
The tomatoes, now canned and preserved, artificially sweetened to mask the taste of metal.
The cheese, now mass produced and lacking age, requiring twice as much to get the same amount of flavour, turning a dish of very little oil to a greasy oily mess.
This masterpiece of aroma, texture and flavour is now unhealthy, soulless and worse yet, bland. No wonder why people sought out more and more toppings. And then the arms race began of the most attention grabbing toppings to boost sales culminated in a tropical fruit being used as a topping. This became the tipping point. People subconsciously knew the idea was ridiculous, and yet they couldn't articulate how or why. Is it because it's a fruit? Well, tomato is already a fruit. Is it because it's sweet? Well there are dessert pizzas. Is it because of the texture? Maybe, but that shouldn't cause that visceral of a reaction.
It's because it's strayed too far from what it's meant to be. Whether or not it tastes good, at a certain point, is no longer relevant. It's simply strayed too far from what it was.
I'm not sure if sushi made with quinoa instead of rice and southern BBQ pulled pork for a filling would taste good or bad, probably good. But at that stage is it still sushi? How many ingredients can you add to a Caesar salad before it stops being a Caesar salad? To a grilled cheese? To an egg fried rice?
Did an AI write this
Nah I was just hungry
Are pizzas in America really that rich? I find the tomato in pizza sauce to be sour enough to overcome the tiny amounts of mozzarella.
Honestly I mostly eat it for the woodfire smoky flavour and the sourdough base. It's essentially bread, cheese, tomato and basil.
Cubed pineapple is not good and texturally obtrusive, the thin slices on a Maui Zaui are great
Good. Good. Let the
hatepineapple juice flow through you.That's what balsamic vinegar is for
I love pineapple on pizza and after the revolution ™️ pineapple pizza will be the official dish of the USSA. Required to be patriotically served in grade schools and work cafeterias every Friday
Broke: pineapple on pizza bad
Woke: jackfruit on pizza good
peanut butter and gummy bears on my pizza
The Reddit atheists were not any better on a lot of these topics. They were just smug.
Yeah but so were the people who presumed they were saving random people from going to hell, so it was a good counterbalance. I don't think all people can be reasoned with, some people have to be cowed by getting "owned" to refrain from loudly espousing a toxic belief, so Reddit atheists' smugness and vitriol was a good way to shame annoying religious people out of proselytizing too much.
agreed
Yes, crush stupid opinions!