sad-boi

  • comrade_pibb [comrade/them]
    ·
    1 month ago

    He used to be wet! Very wet, folks, possibly the wettest! People would say, "look at how wet he is" but now? He's dry! No more wetness, can you believe it? Now people are saying he's not even damp! SAD

    • LocalOaf [they/them]
      ·
      1 month ago

      trump-moist

      People are saying "Donald Trump is the new Salton Sea" folks! It used to have water, big water. Fresh water. Now? Look at it! It's washed up and dry and salty. Very sad. Very very sad, I will tell you that. I talked to President Putin, I said "Vlad, whaddya know about dry?" and he told me about Aral Sea, they've got Aral Sea over there, but Aral instead of Ariel like in Little Mermaid, and frankly, much like Little Mermaid, that went from wet to on land too, and it's a real shame. But we're doing great things from the standpoint of dry, but the Ukraine and wet, not so much.

      • jack [he/him, comrade/them]
        ·
        edit-2
        30 days ago

        Why don't they just hire someone from Hexbear to fake him instead of some dumbass intern? We're better Trumps than Trump.

        • LocalOaf [they/them]
          ·
          edit-2
          30 days ago

          We're too good at it and instead of staying "on message" would have him start a feud with Mr. Clean for making the magic erasers smaller and not settling down with a Mrs. Clean or something

          a-little-trolling

          You know, I'm a Yankees guy and some have said I could've been the best ballplayer in New York if I didn't love doing deals so much, but over in Queens they've got the Mets, the New York Mets, great city by the way back with Rudy, but with little Mike Bloomberg and Bumblin' Bill DeBlasio the new DEI hire guy Patch McAdams or whatever, not so much, but the Mets have a big baseball head guy, great guy, Mr. Met!

          And we like that! We like that. And you know what's even better than Mr. Met? Mr. and Misses Met! Great body on her by the way. Maybe not quite as good as our lovely first lady Melania but not so bad. But the Mets mascots are married, and we love it! We love it. Some have said I'm so good at marriage that I did three just to make tremendous children until we finally got, frankly, the biggest and best one Barron with Melania.

          But Mr. Clean's been very unfair to us with the shrinkflation with the erasers. And I said, well, where's Mrs. Clean?? And I found out, turns out, there isn't one. He's a "confirmed bachelor" folks! That's okay... they can do marriage now, and possibly divorce just like ordinary folks. But there might be a second Mr. Clean in the future, if you know what I mean and possibly that might be... not so bad. But the Biden shrinkflation with the erasers is killing our country. Just killing us.